Judge — May 27, 1916 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MARKOWITZ AND HENRY DISCUSS BUYERS AND CABARETS By LOU RAR 660)! OL! HENRY!” cried Max Markowitz, the skirt manufac- — want to playa little pinocle, and that they should come home with turer, holding his head with both hands. me. It would cost much cheaper. But when I said home to them, “It’s good on you!” exclaimed Henry Shapiro, Markowitz’s the /emech from Looziana looked at me just like I would say bookkeeper and brother-in. . “If you would ‘Hello, Doctor Cook!’ to Lieutenant Peary; while the joker from go home and not schlepp around a whole night, ansas said that he didn’t come to New York to go to a home, you wouldn't holler, ‘Oi, Oi’ in the morning, was young yet and wanted to see the New York cabarets You give them buyers too much of a good time. with all the trimmings. Between you and me, Henry, them cab- Now I don’t care for such things and that’s why — aret_ trimmings cost so much that we'll have to raise prices on I was in the office bright and oily. Yousee I'm the goods.” not interested in Broadway nonsense, but what “Raise prices,” remarked Henry. “They won't stand for it.” did you do last night?” “It's all right.” maintained Markowitz. “Leave it to me. [ll “Oi, Henry! Last night it was ‘Hello, do what everybody does—tell them it’s on account of the war.” Broadway!’ but this morning, them woids taste “T sce,” commented Henry. “It’s like my night school teacher different. I can’t even Hello!’ at one time, I feel like cutting it up in two pieces I tell you, Henry, when them buyers from Shreveport, Looziana, and Leavenworth, Kansas, once get on Broadway, the only thing that can pull them away is a patrol wagon. Them fellers must keep an account. how much they oversleep at home and they balance it up by the cabarettes.” “Tt ain’t cabarettes, it’s cab-a-ray like in hooray,” corrected Hen’ “Let it be Hooray, Cabaray, just as you s rhymed Markowit “Tt was after two o'clock this morning, and my eyes and the place was closing up, when that shliem- azel from Kansas gives me a slap on the back, and hollers, ‘ Markie, old boy, what are we going to do to-night?’ By him, the night was just commencing. And when I told him it was time to go to bed, he joked with me and said, ‘Oily to bed and oi! rise, makes a man—a rooster in disgui: “But where was you all the time? quired Henry, impatiently “Where was we?” repeated Markowitz “And where was we not? Allover! When buyers go out with a manufacturer, they don’t mind the expen and take in every- thing in town, from Rathskellers to Roof ROBBED OF HIS REWARD Gardens. When we went away from the Benny Tykobs—Wot's de use uv anyt'ing ? Here dis fool paper's got my picter labeled “Senator Soap. office last night, I asked them maybe they a dark horse Republican candidate.” Wot 's de use uv a feller tryin’ to be anyt'ing worth while anyway? comicbooks.com