Judge — May 27, 1916 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Briggs and his male guests arrived at the houseboat in his car at three o'clock in the afternoon. Their luggage had preceded them, and they proceeded to doll up in salt-water finery of the Fifth Avenue sort before becoming social. ting to introduce Bender to Miss Delafield when Bender came out of his quarters spick and span. Mrs. Gray had told Briggs that Miss Delafield was forward on deck alone, having gone up from a bridge party below some time before. The other women of the party were busy with those final lyses of appearance that expectation in such circumstances inspires in the s Briggs and Bender walked up the gangway and forward to where Miss Delafield was sitting, a picture for a fashion-magazine cover. “ Miss Delafield, permit me to present Mr. Bender,” said Briggs. “Mr. Bender, Miss Delafield. I hope you'll become well acquainted.” They shook hands with every promise that they should verify Briggs’s hope, and he left them delighted. Miss Delafield sank gracefully into a chair and smiled up at Bender, who asked: “Well, what would you call this? A surprise?” “Really,” she replied coolly, still smiling, “it more nearly re- sembles a coincidence.” Bender looked at her intently a moment. become good actor and see it through?” “Why not?” she laughed, indicating a chair by her side. talk it ove Miss Delafield was really Mrs. Bender. “Hadn't we better “Let's Slighted i WISH that I might linger in Arcadia. cadia of ancient Peloponnesus, but which poets sing, and matinée favorites, among writers, roman- tically expound. It appears to be usually created by a woman. I have walked through the woods with women, and torn my clothes on briars, and driven thorns in my thumb. I have lingered on mossy banks with women and caught a cold, and a crick in my back. I have rowed on shimmering lakes with women, and blistered my hands and parboiled my I have gathered wild- flowers with women through country-side meadows, and been bitten by mosquitoes, and stung by bees. I have crawled over mountain slopes with women, and lamed my feet and barked my shins. And all of the women have bored me frightfully with their beautiful innocence, assumed and otherwise, and their ceaseless chatter. Lam afraid I have never been in Arcadia. Really, I feel quite slighted! —William Sanford. ean the Ar- that beautiful land of I do not m The only things vainer than women are regrets. His Sage Method “ INCE I have given my best thought to the problem I have not found it especially difficult to take care of my sister- in-law’s two-year-old baby while she goes shopping,” said the bachelor brother-in-law. “For a time, until I mastered the subject, I must confess th: had me considerably obfuscated. But now I merely put the dear little fellow under a tub, weighted down so that by no possibility can he overset it, and then go out to the barn and read and smoke in peace.” A Feminine Confidence “1 shall never scold my husband again for spending so much time at the club!” ell me about ii “Well, last night a burglar got into the house and my husband knocked him senseless with the poker. I’ve heard several men speak of him as a poker expert. He has evidently been practicing at the club for just such an emergency!” Leap Year, Too! She—Do you think a woman should ever propose? He—Not until she is reasonably sure a man won't. Opportunism “What is your idea of a political leader?” “One who is able to perceive the way the crowd is going, and follows with loud whoops in that direction.” Marie—Bella’s fiancé was called to the colors the day before the ceremony. He cabled Joffre to that effect. Frieda—Yes; and Joffre cabled back, to the gas warfare.” “Stay a month and get used comicbooks.com