Judge, 1916-05-20 · page 9 of 28
Judge — May 20, 1916 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine page contains three distinct humor pieces satirizing early 20th-century American life: **"The Long Road"** (top cartoon): Two fashionable women in an automobile joke about winning a man's heart through his stomach being easy—the real challenge is accessing his wallet ("the stretch between his heart and his pocketbook"). **"Not Interested at All"**: A husband ignores his wife's questions about business matters (Uncle Danforth's letter, lunch plans, contracts, branch offices), then she sarcastically announces she doesn't care about his business anyway. The satire targets marital dynamics and female disinterest in male financial affairs. **"Ode to Fashion"**: A poem mocking women's servitude to fashion trends, depicting them as mindlessly following arbitrary whims—from bare backs to pierced noses. It portrays Fashion as a tyrannical "Arbitress" controlling women's bodies and behavior. **"Honest Admiration"**: A brief joke about a man admiring Atlas's strength while unable to manage his own congressional district—likely political self-deprecation. These pieces reflect period anxieties about gender roles, consumerism, and women's fashion obsession.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Miranda—The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, dear. LONG ROAD Maybelle—That part of the domestic highway is easy enough! But, THE the stretch between his heart and his pocketbook is something fierce. Not Interested at All “PPED you get a letter from Uncle Dan- forth toda: asked Mr: hley when her husband had lighted his cigar and begun to read the latest news concerning the great contlict. “No.” he replied. “Did you have lunch with Mr. Paddleford?” No,” “Did Miggsworth today?” ** No.” “Did you get any word from Mr. Sanford about that St. Louis contract?” “No.” “Was anything done about opening a branch office in Philadelphia?” “No.” After Mrs. Ashley had gazed for a mo- ment at her husband she sai “If you think I care bout how you run your old business you're very much mistaken.” S. E. you see Mr. Honest Admiration “Wonderful man! Wonderful man!” ex- claimed the Hon, Bray Lowder, gazing y at a picture of the late Atlas. “He is carrying the world on his shoulders, Ode to Fashion G' EAT ARBITRESS of modes and Ruling the world with subtle glances, You do the piping, we the dances See how our we infolk (God bless them!) Mlow your whimsies to distress them, While in your liveries you dress them At times how they dilate with splendor Or squeeze in costumes slim and slender With full unquestioning surrender. Even the tribes of pagan races Deform their shapes and mar their {: With fashion’s horrors and disgraces Though small their maximum of clothes i They bore their lips and pierce their nos And smirk in fashionable poses. Your will is ruthless thou All your vagaries vexing. var Control in manners multifarious. ontrarious; We bare our backs for you to lash on; We follow palpitant with passion whatever be in f 1. L. Salmon To wear Most Important Professor—If a physician is called to gee a patient, what is the first ques- oath ae! Horry —I bet I can make a worse face than you can, Dorothy—You ought to be able to. Lool: at the face you've got to start with. tion he should ask? Student—W here he lives! while I cannot even carry my own congres- sional district!” comicbooks.com