Judge, 1916-05-20 · page 15 of 28
Judge — May 20, 1916 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is satirical commentary on World War I, published while the war was still ongoing. The "Scratch Man" character proposes converting all the war-devastated European battlefields into an international golf course—a absurdist idea meant to ridicule both the senselessness of the war and the obsessive, self-absorbed priorities of wealthy golfers. The satire works on multiple levels: it mocks how the upper classes trivialize a catastrophic conflict; it critiques the notion that warring nations could cooperate on anything; and it darkly jokes about real hazards (trenches, shell craters, mines) becoming golf obstacles. The fictional match results naming real leaders (Kaiser, Czar, King George) and actual battle locations (Verdun, Marne, Poland, Belgium) emphasize the grotesque contrast between devastating human conflict and leisure sports. The cartoon above illustrates an old gentleman examining the underside of a golf ball—a visual pun supporting the page's golf-obsessed theme.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
—— sR ra Old gentleman (genially)—I know you'll think it's childish curiosity, but you know Ive always wondered what one of these looked like underneath. 66] SEE that golf-balls were tobe CLUBHOUSE CONVERSATIONS 4 cheaper this year,” said the Scratch Man. ‘How's that?” asked the Mere Duffer. ditions were to make it possible,” returned the Scratch Man. ‘‘I don’t just see how; but far be it from me to look a gift-economy in the price-list. I was satisfied, while the rumor lasted, to think that I wouldn’t have to pay as much formy sport as I'd been pay- de con- “I suppose the war had something to do with it,” said the New Member. “It's the first time on record that the war has reduced anything except population.” “T have an idea, speaking of the war,” said the Scratch Man. “T think they ought to call the war off- ld “Yes?” said the New Member sarcastically. other little thing you'd like done?” “—call the war off,” continued the Scratch Man, unabashed, “and convert all the country over which the fighting has been done into an international golf-links. Just think,” he continued, warm- ing to his subject, “(just think of the marvelous systems of trenches “Is there any The Scratch Man Proposes to Bring About the Millennium which have been dug—what a se- ries of hazards! And the shell- craters, and the mines! Why there wouldn’t be any work to be done except the laying out of greens and the erection of a clubhouse. You see, it would work out this wi All the territory which has been in dispute would be held jointly by the warring nations. ‘They would agree to use it for a links; a huge clubhouse would be put up, and a nominal fee charged for the privileges of it and the course. Why, we could have holes miles and miles long! You would see items like this every day: ‘Emperor William and President Poincaré had an exciting match last week for the Hague cup. The result was in doubt until the President negotiated Belgium in three hun- dred and si ix under par.’ “*The Czar had a chance to beat King Albert, but got into trouble at the Marne water hazard.’ “*The famous Poland hole has been rendered more difficult still by the explosion of a couple of buried shells which the greens com- mittee overlooked. It is to be hoped that things like this will be prevented in the future, as the lives of the players are endangered by such carelessness.’ “*King George lost his ball in the Verdun trap, and at last reports had an army-corps of caddies looking for it.’ “Why, with the organization of the International Golf Links, comicbooks.com