Judge — May 20, 1916 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Yes, madame.” And another cocktail was forthcoming. Then, the lady negotiated her breakfast while the maid was busy with a mysterious care of the lady’s feet. By the time breakfast was done the lady’s shoes were on, and her limbs were brilliant with modish stockings. “You must take great pains with my hair, Sarah. Iam to have a gentleman to lunch- con,” “Yes, madame.” “Murder! Do you want to make me bald? How clumsy you are! And if you don’t something besides ‘Yes, madame,’ I shall scream! More than that, if you continue to be as stupid as you have been, I shall get another maid. I have threatened this before, I know. But I shall act. Why, do you suppose, have I kept you so long?” “I don’t know, madame, unless Iam pa tient and obedient.” “Obedient! Why, things I tell you to do! The lady, who thought she might marry in good time, really kept the maid because she was a model of dexterity and industry and happily to the lady’s future peace of mind, as unhandsome as a maid could possibly b The maid adjusted a mass of beautiful hair originally foreign to the lady, and be- gan to perform miracles upon the lady’s face. One after another rich article of dress was adjusted until the lady stood forth with her embonpoint in disguis Her complexion seemed perfect, and her nose, which had looked plebeian at first, in the new environ- ment was charmingly retroussé. She was another woman. Down at luncheon time, the lady was entertaining a man near her own which was not remote from forty. The tleman, groomed to a finish, evidently owed you never do the WY as much to the skill of his valet as the lady owed to the skill of her maid. “Are you quite sure you love me, dear- est?” she asked. “Quite sure, darling. Why should I wish to marry you if I did not love you?” “You have known many women—hand- some and clever women—yet ha’ “Beauty, amiability—everything!” A Satisfactory Substitute ‘“ ELL, no,” said Mr. Gap Johnson, of Rumpus Ridge, Ark., in reply to the tender of the suaveagent. “I don’t reckon we've got any pertickler use for achurn, You see, when we've got more milk than the children can drink we pour it into a holler stump. When it sours we sorter fling in three or four big bull- frogs, and they kick around and churn it to butter before they can get out. Miss King Solomon How about getting married? e—Getting married—if it’s the right girl—should double the life of your tires, and cut your gasoline bill in two. He The persons who calls a spade a spade, is usually digging in dirt. i “Oh, Mabel! the kitten must have eaten some of the bees! I can hear them humming.” Ballade of a Looker-on MELIA is coquettish quite, Melissa's always nice and neat; Cordelia’s full of sallies bright And has a wit that’s hard to beat. Pauline in every way is sweet, Annette’s a dream of Arc Elvira's daintily px But they are not the girls for me. Camille in reading takes delight And shuns the murmur of the street; Virginia dances di i Marie's discerninj Kate's fervid as the summer heat; Olivia runs to poesy, The imps of laughter Jenny greet— But they are not the girls for me. Belinda keeps the arts in sight, Cornelia’s singing is a treat; May dips her pen and likes to write, Phillipa bows at Fashion's feet. To make my list of maids complete, L have to mention Margery, Who cooks such tempting things to eat— But they are not the girls for me. ENVOY Not that my tastes are hard to meet, But I am married happily, And so it is that I repeat: “But they are not the girls for me!” —Nathan M. Levy. The Important Part He—Male suffrage is the letter of the law She—The postscript is woman's write.