Judge, 1916-04-22 · page 17 of 28
Judge — April 22, 1916 — page 17: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"The Débutante"** (poem with illustration): A nostalgic critique of upper-class coming-of-age rituals. The poem laments how "Polly," once an athletic, carefree girl who golfed and rode horses, transforms into an affected debutante after her formal "coming out." She now affects boredom ("ennuied air"), chases eligible suitors (Algy, Perce, Cholly), and abandons her genuine interests—satirizing how the marriage market corrupts authentic female personalities. **The remaining short pieces** mock various social types: pompous professors dispensing unwanted advice; young men's romantic anxieties; women's gossip; stock market fraud; and marital/legal entanglements. The overall theme: satirizing upper-class pretension, social rituals, and the gap between genuine character and social performance. The humor relies on recognizing these familiar social types and their hypocrisies.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Débutante JOLLY with wind-tossed hair, Fond of her bull and collie, Golfed in a manner rare— She was my chum, was Polly Now she calls golfing folly, Riding and snooting pall; Cares not for lob and volley- Polly came out last Fall. Débutante debonaire, Gone is her manner jolly; Carries an ennuied air, (She was my chum, was Polly,) Algy and Perce and Cholly, Trail her from ball to ball; Only a mincing dolly— Polly came out last Fall. Kyes for the heart a snare, Lips like the Yuletide holly, less of what she’d wear— She was my chum, was Polly, Go-as-you-please and lolly; Where is her oldtime thrall? Gone, by the beard of Ali! Polly came out last Fall. L’Envoi Drown me in melancholy, Lose me in Pluto’s hall! She was my chum, was Polly Polly came out last Fall. —F. Gregory Hartswick Their Helpfulness “J IS wonderful how much one can learn at odd times by cultivating the. habit of being receptive to information,” said Professor Pate. As you walk along the crowded thoroughfares or ride in the street cars you can pick up a surprising amount of knowledge. Our fel- lowe beings are constantly teaching us something or other, and ” “Eh-yah!” interrupted the Old Codger. “Thave noticed that if I give them even half a chance they will show me that I am abso- lu‘ely wrong in my views on politics, religion, cures for rheumatism, weather signs, the future of the republic, the trend of events, and the like, and so hopelessly benighted Miss Ambition—It’s a big berg. in my abysmal ignorance that only the imme- diate adoption of their opinions and theories, which they stand ready to explain in full can save me from being an utter idiot.” Bobby’s Error “Good gracious, Bobby! What matter? Why, you're in awful shaps Bobby—I told a lot of boys T was proud to fight. is the Some Women Some women marry for love, some for money, and others from force of habit. but I'll risk it! Helping the Game Along HE midnight stillness of the darkened parlor was punctuated by a crash just overhead. “Wha-wha-what was that, dud-dud- darling?” exclaimed the timid young man. “Merely father dropping a hint,” she replied, as she snuggled a little closer. Fine Field Madge—Did you have anything to talk about at the club meeting? Marjoric—Lots! On account of the storm there were only three of us present. Unprofitable Dyer—1 understand there is a lot of water in the stock. Ryer—Yes, the tears of the unfortu- nate investors. A Little Nonsense LITTLE nonsense now and then ‘Appeals to ‘tired business men,” Which is one reason, if you please, Why lawyers keep on getting fees. “A little nonsense” will explain Why man so oft is filled with pain Because his letters come to light To satisfy some woman's spite. “A little nonsense” here and there, As, doubtless, you are well aware, Makes many a man regret to-day The alimony he must pay.—S. E. Kiser. comicbooks.com