Judge — April 8, 1916 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Passing the Mustard Preparedness—In Other Days = = When Noah hastened ‘round to tell =| ‘A wise and doubting generation = That they were due to have a spell (Of furious precipitation ‘They answered: * Bosh nd “Tut! tut! tut!” They told him calmly: “Why the flurry!” They said that Noah was a nut ‘And added coldly: “We should worry.” They pointed to the cloudless skies And clamored loudly all together Were shrewd and up to date and wise, No one can fool us on the weather; These pessimistic weather sharks, Said they, ‘‘will not get us to heed 'em. Why waste our money building arks Unless we know that we shall need ’em?” Bet Noah just pulled off his coat ‘And with his many sons and daughters Put up a vessel that would float However high should rise the waters. And when with a portentous sound The Heavens started to unbuckle— “fd rather be prepared than drowned,” Said Noah with a knowing chuckle. —J.J. Montague, in New York American. Ambiguous—The Thinker—I’ve got a ktter from my son out West. His Friend—What is Tom doing now? The Thinker—That's what I can’t make out. He says he is engaged in the destruc- tion of weeds. Now, that may mean he’s smoking a good many cigars or that he is trying to induce some widow to make a second venture or it may mean that he is doing farm work. —New Orleans Times-Picayune. His Reason—“ What makes you go in through the kitchen?” “I don’t know our servants very well,” replied Mr. Cumrox. “Some way, the front hall seems kind of formal and distant. Around at the kitchen steps they’ve got an old door mat with ‘Welcome’ on it.” —Washington Star. Ulterior Motive—‘ That fellow pictures the delights of country life so vividly ——” “Yes?” “That I am constrained to conclude he Wants to sell his place.” —Louisville Courier-Journal. Had Never Had One—“Would you consider me presumptuous if I asked you a kiss,” inquired the new arrival in the hospital. “That depends,” replied the nurse. “Have you fallen in love with me?” “Can't say that I have in this short time. But I’ve never had a sterilized kiss.” —Kansas City Journal. The Patient's Idea—Doctor (to patient) You've had a pretty close call. It’s only Your strong constitution that pulled you through. Patient—Well, doctor, remember that ¥hen you make out your bill. —Topeka Journal. It Looked Better— Your daughter,” Sid Mrs. Oldcastle, after being conducted gh the newly-furnished wing of the Magnificent palace occupied by the new- by baying from diamonds. All ri ‘eliminated. At $97.60 per carat we give you beautiful, brilliant, mnuine perfect-cut ‘that retailers sel! for 180.00 per carat. You Can Examine Any Dia- |mond FREE At Our Expense Ad this will not obligate you in any way B | won't cost you one cent. We send any di to you to examine ly and if you don’t test value you have ever seen fEat' cur expedse. sales: Actua enath Fi Dept. X2260 State and Quincy Streets i CHICAGO, U.S. A. CHICAGO, U.S.A. Look before you leap, but if you like her looks, leap NOW! This picture, ox12, mounted on a heavy double mat, ready for the frame, is This charming pic- ture, in full colors as it appears on the cover of this issue of Judge, will be sent just the touch you postpaid for twenty- need to brighten your five cents. walls. ¢ ¢ Enoch Bolles has scored another hit with his pretty little bathing of tee girl, and we are now ready to fill your orders for the prints. ¢ Judge 7 25FilthAve. This picture will make your room a cheerier place to , ¢ New York live in! Tear off the coupon and mail it in today. o seas “se Send m c- ¢ fore You Leap” for . a which I enclose 8.25. uU e “ 7 Name...... , The Happy Medium 225 Fifth Avenue New York City 4% Address...............+5++ comicbooks.com