Judge — April 8, 1916 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

I AM opposed to war and strife; I wish to live the peaceful life, beneath my tree and vine; to ‘tend serenely to my biz—that always was and ever is the dearest wish of mine. For what do people gain by blows, by camping on the trail of foes, by seeking bifis and swats? They only harvest gobs of gloom, or occupy an early tomb ‘neath the forget-me-nots. Let’s all insist on balmy peace! Let slaughtering and warfare cease} That is my constant cry; I don’t believe in rearing sons to carry snickersnees or guns, to lose their legs or die. And yet if some one pulls my nose, or tramps unduly on my toes, I try to maul his dome; I try my best to show him how Old Masters punch the human brow, in Munich and in Rome. My lovely theories are eschewed, and I indulge in conduct rude, offended and enraged; the Dove of Peace looks pretty punk, good will to men is empty bunk, while I am thus engaged. There is no sense in gory fight; it never demonstrates the right, it ne’er corrects a wrong; ‘twere better far in peace to dwell, and cultivate the vale and dell, and fill the air with song. I’d rather be a farmer mild than gather in the tumult wild a warrior’s renown; for Balmy Peace I always am; the lion and the gentle lamb together should lie down. (The basest of degraded men came round last night and stole my hen, from out my unlocked coop; no doubt today he’s gnawing wings, and chewing gizzards, legs and things, or swilling chicken soup. So I have borrowed Johnson's gun, and loaded it with half a ton of shinglenails and shot; and if the wretch comes here once more, and monkeys with my henhouse door, I'll show him which is what.) Her Neglectful Parents! HE WAS very young, very pretty, and had been engaged less than forty-cight hours. “Mamma,” she said, softly, “ Harry is—is just perfectly wonder- full’” “Yes, Muriel,” replied her mother, understandingly. “Yes, he is! Wiy you and Papa have known me all my life and never noticed it!” “Never noticed what, dear?’ “Why, Harry kept looking into my eyes last evening, and every time he looked into them he whispered to me that each one was just a little bit bluer than the other!” —William Sanford. known me As Usual ! HERE WAS a man in our town, and he was wondrous foolish, He took his winter flannels off, although the air was coolish, And when the chill northeaster came, he shook with might and main, And spent a week or so in bed, and put them on again. —Corinne Rockwell Swain. LUNCHEON XPENSIVE? Yes, any way you look at it. If it does not take dollars it does take minutes— valuable minutes in the middle of the day’s productive hours. Why not cut it altogether? There are reasons. The beauty of the meal is its freedom. You may lunch as you please, when you please, on what you please. There is no precedent to obey. Is it not so? This alone makes luncheon tempting, agree- able, and therefore productive. While it may often be omitted at the proper hour and we still survive about as usual, food is, in the long run, important when desired; and the vital economy rebels sooner or later if nutritional standards are neglected. So the whims of appetite may have in them more significance than are acknowledged. What inviting dishes are offered at the quick lunch! One's mouth softens at the sight! There’s everything from all kinds of meat pies down to bread and cheese. And regular pies, puddings, baked apples, sandwiches. Milk (‘half and half”) with crackers —splendid refreshment when you want just that! With really good medical advice in mind, advice that belongs to you because it is supposed to fit your individual case, and you have bought and paid for it yourself, you have some definite idea of what assortment of viands will best serve your growing needs. For we must all keep on growing. ’Twill never do at all to retire from that! So the real point is, enough practical wisdom to select. Where variety is abundant there must be dishes fit for every stomach and every brain, to say nothing of every purse. And the next thing is to choose well that order of nourishment which will assimilate to the betterment of all those human forces devoted to daily effort with the maximum of succe i Knowledge of calories, nd hormones, of chemistry by and large, will not accomplish this end half so well as intelligent heed to the appetite. It must be normal. It must not have per- verted itself by inanities. It must be an all-round sensible appetite that has not listened to the blandishments of welsh rarebit and lobster neuberg the midnight before. © —Judson M. Hinchthone. ADVICE GRATEFULLY RECEIVED Clert—These soft cuff shirts are very much in vogue, Sir. 1 always wear them myself ; Customer—I'm glad you warned me. Let me see some with a stiff cuff, please. comicbooks.com