Judge — March 25, 1916 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Cah thd he Noatit eter duc eh cad CSS 5 Passing the Mustard Adam and Eve woman? 4 Why, then, gossip, tell me true, Why you woo her—as you do. Ask a woman: What's a man? What d’you fancy she will s Say, then, gossip, if you can, Why you wed him?—horrid man! Gentle sir and sweetest madam, Would you know the reason true Why today you scorn each other And tomorrow bill and coo? Ask your parents Eve and Adam, They can tell, and—so can you! —Pall-Mall Gazette. Looked Forward Too—She—If I'd known you'd be such a brute to poor Fido I'd never have married you. that miserable little beast wi chief reasons for proposing.—Stray Stories. Lent—Mistress—Goodness, Bridget, where is our telephone? Bridget—Mrs. Jones sent over, mum, askin’ for the use av it, and I sint it over, but I had the divil’s own toime gittin’ it off the wall, mum.—Toledo Blade. Looking Her Best—Business caller (ooking at photograph)—This is a picture of Mrs. Peckington, I suppose? Peckington—Yes; that’s her when she is—er—getting her picture taken.—Phila- ddphia Press. “Hearing those high-priced opera singers on the phonograph is almost 3s good as hearing them on the stag “Better. You can shut them of when- ever you like on the phonograph." —Musical America. How Could She?—Mistress—Did you see if the butcher had pig’s feet? Maid—No, ma'am, | couldn’t—he had his boots on!—Chicago Herald. Thankful Mother (looking through mag- azine)—Darling, I see from statistics given here that every third baby born in the world isa Chinese. Father (fondling his first’ born)—Then Approved by Harvey W. Wiley Director of Good House- keeping Bureau of Foods, San- itation and Health Health is the Only Preparedness ISEASE strikes first at the unprepared D —at those who haven’t been careful to maintain a sufficient reserve of vitality as protection against the attack of sickness. Constipation saps your vitality, lowers your resistance. By permitting it to continue you are indulging in a dangerous form of physical unpreparedness. Laxatives and cathartics are upsetting and tend to form a habit. Frequently they intensify the very condition they were meant to cure. The use of Nujol as an internal lubricant is entirely free from these objections. Nujol doesn’t upset the processes of digestion and assimilation, because its action is purely mechani- cal. It softens the contents of the intestines, oils the mucous lining and so encourages normal, healthy bowel activity. Most druggists carry Nujol, which is sold only in pint bottles packed in cartons bearing the Nujol trade mark. If your druggist doesn’t carry Nujol, we will send you a pint bottle prepaid to any point in the United States on receipt of 75 cents—money order or stamps. Address Dept. 13. STANDARD OIL COMPANY (New Jersey Bayonne New Jersey thank goodness this is our first—New York Globe, Mistaken In the Locality— heaven,” said the sentimental maiden, “ man is never separated from his wife.” el beg your pardon,” interrupted the ynist, “but I think you are getting your geography.”—Richmond Times. Dispatch, Proud of Him—‘My boy,” said the elderly millionaire at the end of the lecture economy, “when I was your age I carried Fater for a gang of section hands.” “I'm proud of you, dad,” answered the HENRY LINDENMEYR & SONS PAPER WAREHOUSE Nos. 32, 34 and 36 Bleecker Street Branch Warehouses: 20 Beekman Street, New York, and 32 Clinton Street, Newark, N. J. ALL KINDS OF PAPER MADE TO ORDER WHITE Look and Wear Yattey GEMS ie Dlanens dare being worn by the wealthiest erywhere-Stand acd and Gre diamond tote bard pra key scratch a Gle and cut nteed twent Z earee Witl send you you these ese wonderful ge: oy expe 14K, eoll —by express—charges prepaid, meyers rear them. Defers you buy them: Wiejor big lkatretedeatabeg sipend FreeTrtel Ofer | WHITE VALLEY GEM CO., 819 Walsin Bldg, lodianapelis, Indian» lar diamond mountings | WANTED AN IDEA! WHO CAN THINK OF SOME simple thing to patent. Protect your ideas, they may bring you wealth, Write for “Needed Inventions” and “How to Get Your Pateat and Your Money.” Randolph & Co., Patent Attur- neys, Dept. 189, Washington, D. C. WIZARD CIGAR HOLDER, 10c A Cigar Holder that takes Pictures. Roll a blank in holder, smoke a cigar, and you have a picture of a dashing ballet girl or a beau- tiful woman. Holder with Blanks for iy making 6 rare pictures, 10cts, Extra blanks, Sets, per doz. —— =) EXCELSIOR NOV. CO. Desk C, Mt.Vernon, N.Y. comicbooks.com