Judge — March 18, 1916 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ent to > bed dows. it $0 dark- ate for y year, ulf late where rs from lemand letter: jucsted. peas?” d along yud and ead the ere crying break vat have or slight further — Bostes Stories with Smiles As a Brother—At last he she was really amest about rejecting him. “At least, s sadly, least, love me as a brother. “Yes,” she agreed sweetly. “Yes, Per civale, I'll do that. Vl love you always as a brother.” brother, came into the parlor. “Hey, sis, did ya see me kite anywheres?’ he sai Get out of here, y devilish, scheming, sneaking brat!” she cried shrilly. | “You know you're only sneaking around to sce what you can sce and hear what you can hear! Beat it, you double- jointed cloven-hoofed freak!” Wiegand withdrew. “Clarice,” he said, after a thoughtful pause *Percivale?” she responded softly. “T’ve changed my mind,” he said. “ Don’t love me as a brother. Just forget me.”— Detroit Free Press. Joker—With most of us the grim neces- sity of purchasing coal is np joke. Yet a Boston man found at a coal emporium in that city a chap who managed to infuse a degree etiousness into the transaction. How much is chestnut coal?” timidly inquired the prospective customer. “That depends,” id the salesman “A la carte, it’s cight dollars; cul-de-sac, it will cost you fifty cents extra.” —Everybody’s. System—The visitor was being shown about by the head of the up-to-date business hot - Who is that dapper youth at the glass- topped desk?” he asked. hat is the superintendent of the card index system. He keeps an index showing where the index cases are “Who is the young man with the gray gaiters and the efficient cars?” “He keeps an index showing the length of - time it takes to index the indexes. “Who is the girl with the golden ha “She decides under what index an index to the index of the filing cabinets shall be placed.” And who is the gray-haired man at the ‘dered desk in the corner?” ‘Oh, that’s Old Joggs. He doesn’t fit in very well with the rest of the office, but Thave to keep him around. He’s the only employe who can find important papers when I want them in a hurr: NYS Her Pride Hurt—* Your fashionable friend seems to be threatened with palpita- tion of the heart.” she has just received a dreadful d what happened to fortune’s favor- “She was sitting in an employment office Waiting for a chance to look cook when ahaughty dame swept up and offered her ap ouisville Courier-Journal. To Be Preferred—“Experience is a food asset.” “I'd much prefer the bankroll I exchanged mine.” — Boston Transcript. Seed Orances with a dash of Abbott's Bitters are ape War aad beatiful. Samples of bitters by mall, 25 ct to famps. CW. Abbott & Co, Baltimore, Md" (ADV) Friction in the Human eer Machine Approved by Harvey W.V od House- Station os constipation—the ism by which the breakdown of the mechan- body disposes of its waste. piareauof , | ‘RICTION in the human machine is called You can’t repair the trouble by means of laxatives and cathartics. "These give only partial and tem- porary relief, and almost invariably serve to throw the bowel mechanism even further out of gear. Permanent relief from constipation can only be obtained by restoring the normal functioning of the bowels. This necessitates lubrication—pro- viding the intestinal tract with an efficient substi- tute for the mucous which exhausted nature has failed to supply. Nujol is not a medicine b: tinal tract, prevents the co uta lubricant. It oils the intes- ntents from becoming hard, and facilitates the passage of waste. Nujol taken regularly, in conjunction with reasonable care about eating (coarse foods are preferable), will frequently bring about a complete restoration of normal bowel activity. Most druggists carry Nujol, which is sold only in pint ‘ bottles packed in cartons bearing the Nujol trade- mark. If your druggist does not carry Nujol, accept no substitute. We will send a pint bottle prepaid to any point in United States on receipt of 75¢.— money order or stamps. Write for booklet “The Rational Treatment of Constipation.” Address Dept. 13. Bayonne STANDARD.OIL COMPANY (New Jersey) . New Jersey REG.US. 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