Judge — March 4, 1916 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SYSTEM “I tell you I've paid my fare once, and I won't pay it again.” “Well, you didn't press the button, pull the cord. or step on the gong: you didn’t tell me you wanted to go to Main street when you got in; and you've ridden past the transfer point without whistling twice and signaling the car ahead by red and green lights; so you'll have to pay ex! “No doubt they never did,” said the Rev. Meekly with a show of color in his pale, ical face. ‘But it seems to me My wife was saying to-day that she would miss him turribly if Amzi Trott, our tenner, was dropped out of the choir. He sung at our wedding and at the weddings of our four married children. I don’t care if he does beat time with his head or if he does now and then bu’st in in the wrong place when the choir is singing an anthem. He's a spiritool man and his great-gran’ was our first minister, so I vote for k him right in the choir. And as for changing our ‘Angel’s Wreath’ for some new-fangled hymn book, I’m ag’in it. The ‘Angel's Wreath’ hymn book was good enough for my father and gran’father and it’s good enough for me. So I say let the choir and the hymn book alone.” “Amen!” said a chorus of voices. “Very well,” said the Rev. Meckly feebly. all we now take up the question of repairing the horse sheds and sending a barrel of Christian literature and clothing . to the Congo?” —Max Merryman A Distinct Loss 6é7] GREATLY miss old John Rasp, who departed this life the other day, kicking as he went,” confessed old P. G. Pester. “He was my bitterest and most dependable enemy, and a man whom I could afford to hate unreservedly and consistently, knowing that I could trust him never to fail to give me cause and occasion. I always knew that he would invariably oppose, on general principles, whatever I advocated, and un- failingly view with alarm anything to which I pointed with pride. In turn he knew that he could depend on me to go my length in deriding and despising him and his theories. Thus we cach found the other a perfectly reliable and trustworthy object of hatred. And now that he is gone I suppose I shall have to try out a good many candidates before I hit upon such a truly satisfactory enemy as old John Rasp was.” —Tom P. Morgan. Upon a Woman's Ways If I could find a woman who could go To bed, as does her spouse, in half a minute— I'd flee from her forte! Fortissimo!! For there would be no lure of femininit! Barred Out Husband—Have you called upon those new people yet? Wife—No, we can’t associate with them. 1 was saved from doing it in the nick of time: Husband—What happened? Wife—Why, by the merest accident I heard that they run an open car all winter. The Franchise How proud the man who feels the choice 3 iding in him! Unlike the sheep, he has a voice In choosing who shall skin him Coke MORE EXCITING Friend—Any innovations in your Uncle Tom's Cabin show this season ? Showman—Oh, yes ! Instead of having Eliza escape by crossing the river on the floating. ice cakes, we have her escape by crossing Broadway at Forty-third street. comicbooks.com