Judge — March 4, 1916 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Reward of Virtue NCE upon a time there was a man who was known as the laziest in the world. He spent most of his time trying to figure out how he could avoid anything that had even a family resem- blance to labor. He slept late mornings, and loafed all day. He was proud of his record, and boasted that he had never done a hand’s turn in his life. The neighbors shook their heads over him, and predicted all sorts of awful things for him in the future. The wheels of administration revolved, and the laziest man in the world found him- self, all unexpectedly, appointed postmaster of the village. He took up his new duties with a sigh, fearing a blot on his hitherto unblemished panache of idleness. But his talent for avoiding work saved him, and it was not long until that post-office was full of devices which enabled the laziest man in the world to spend his time around the stove with the rest of the boys, while the Government's business took care of itself. Not long after the inauguration of this era of millennial inactivity, an inspector came snooping around those parts. He entered the post-office of the laziest man in the world, prepared to make trouble. He took one look at the arrangements, and fled to the tele- graph office; and the Postmaster-General was in receipt of several dozen winged words that night. The laziest man in the world is now em- ployed at a fabulous remuneration as an Efficiency Expert. Against a Circulating Medium CLERK anda waitress at a hotel on the Presidential circle are much exercised over a ruling of the proprictor that they cannot keep the tips which they received from the President and his wife, unless they frame them or do something that will give the money the status of a souvenir. The rules of the State—it happened in Iowa— forbid tipping, and no exception was made “HE'S GOT THE GRIP!” in the case of the first gentleman and lady of the land. As an example of democracy the incident should be welcomed; but one can’t help thinking it a bit hard on the recipients of the Wilsonian generosity. A tip from a Presi- dent should be treated as a tip from anyone. Tips are rare enough, anyway. And as for making souvenirs of the tips, who ever heard of such a crazy idea? It is as illogical L S$ as the act of the barkeeper who frames the first dollar that he receives in his bar. Why frame it? Why not spend it as dollars are meant to be spent? It is an insult to a A dollar has a roving disposition and it isn’t fair to the poor thing to keep it in one place too long. President Wilson has made free with tips on how the country should be run, and preparedness, and a second term; and there has been no objection to people’s taking them and using them as they please. Why make an exception in the case of money? The discrimination is not fair. Extra-Judicial Comment R. JUSTICE HUGHES'S minority opinion notwithstanding, there are a lot of people who think the proper way to address the next President would be “if the Court please.” & Senator Works of California has no faith in the idea that a Supreme Court justice ought to be drafted for the Presidency. Faith without works is dead, but the Good Book does not say what about Works with- out faith. & So widely are the blessings of our institu- tions now disseminated by peripatetic personal ambassadors, that foreign poten- tates enjoy the privileges of the House. 2 Senator Norris of Nebraska wants to abolish the electoral college. That’s rather drastic, but we do think it ought to give its degrees to the right party. + One thing the Republican party can’t yet say to Colonel Roosevelt is “God Bless you—good-by.” 2 Uncle Sam might have more pacific relations if he had less Pacific possessions comicbooks.com