Judge — February 26, 1916 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Passing the Mustard Tact—Hub—I told Bohrsum that we might drop in on them tonight. Wife—Oh, fudge! You know I don’t want to visit those people, and I can’t see why you do. Hub—I don’t. I told him that, so that we can stay at home tonight without fear of hav- ing them drop in on us.—Boston Transcript. irst_ really realistic novel I What’s so realistic about it?” “Didn't you notice? The heroine does about six times as much talking as the hero.”” —Kansas City Journal. What She Meant—‘“She talk ferent times of ‘my maid,’ ‘my coo! . laundress,’”’ said the woman with the mack- Realis: ever Te s she actually so many servants?” “No,” said the accompanying male person, “she means that her hired girl is a lightning- change artist.”"—Detroit Saturday Night. Reputation—“When a man does any- thing well he ought to get credit for it,” re- marked the generous-minded man. “Not always,” replied Bronco Bob. “ Me an’ Piute Pete got the reputation of bein’ such good poker players that it completely spoiled business.” —Cleveland Plain Dealer. Pertinent Query—Victim—What has happened? Where am 1? Doctor—You have been seriously injured inatrolley accident. But cheer up—you will recover. Victim—How much?—New York Times. Percy’s Idea— Mother—My dear Percy, now that you've left college you must really begin looking for some sort of employment. Percy—But don’t you think, mother, it would be more dignified to wajt until the offers begin to come in?—Dallas News. Conscience —Fuzzby—Yes, she’s a nice girl, but if you marry her in the hope that she'll one day come into a fortune,won’t your conscience trouble you? Sportlove—Oh, no! Not if she really gets the money.—New York Globe. Protective—“I don’t like to have my husband prop up a newspaper at the break- fast-table. Do you?” “Oh, I don’t know. It keeps the grape- fruit from spattering as far as it otherwise might.” —Louisville Courier-Journal. Why —She—Why do they call this soup puree de Jackson? He—Wall, you see, Jackson is the name of the chef and he had’a hand in it.—Hareard Lampoon A Bet—Dolly—And_ you tell me that you have graduated from the school of experience? Cholly—Ah, Dolly—V'l bet it was a night school. Tiger. One of ’Em—Enthusiast—Don't the Sectors lire you with the questions they ask? Aviator—Yes. What else do you want to Know?— Jester. EGYPTIAN DEITIES | PREFER Deities iB any other arstairsky, A Year Before The Father of His Country Took The Oath of Office Carstairs Rye was the country’s standard. Each succeeding year has shown increased popularity. Used “straight,” or in High Balls, Carstairs Rye—in the non-refill- able bottle—has no superior. 7m! S788. @, HENRY LINDENMEYR & SONS PAPER WAREHOUSE Nos. 32. 34 and 36 Bleecker Street Branch Warehouses: 20 Beekman Street, New Vork, and 42 Clinton Street. Newark, N. J ALL KINDS OF PAPER MADE TO ORDER “MADE AT KEY WEST— WHITE W LookandWear Vatiey GEMS [regeed by the wealthiest people everyw! acid and fire diamon: ery where. dand fire diamond hard they scratch a Gle aod cut lave teed twenty: arse Will sead you these wonderful gems ia any style, 14K, solhd gold, regular dlamond mountings —by express—charges prepaid, so you can see and wear them Before you buy them. Writefor big ilkustr ated catalg and FreeTr1al Ofer WHITE VALLEY GEM CO., 819 Walsin Bidz,, lodianapolis, Indiana Your dealer knows Free Trial Piedmont Red Cedar ai Chests protect ‘woolens from | crwedtina trial. Write for big new catalog with reduced prices. Postpaid FREE. Piedmont Red Cedar Chest Co., Dept. 64, Statesville, N.C. comicbooks.com