Judge, 1916-02-12 · page 16 of 28
Judge — February 12, 1916 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate satirical stories, typical of Judge's humor: 1. **"Uncle's Approval"**: A dark comedy about a nephew seeking his uncle's approval. The nephew announces his suicide plan via letter, but the uncle's delayed congratulatory telegram arrives too late—the nephew, annoyed at the tardiness, spitefully refuses to kill himself out of spite. 2. **"At the Columbia Country Club"**: A brief comic exchange where a woman (Gertrude) asks why a man (implied to be named Chevy Chase, MD) plays golf all winter. The punchline: fewer people watch him, suggesting he's a poor golfer. 3. **"And It Continues So"**: An allegorical story where Destiny distributes human traits. She gives one man nature and brains to accumulate wealth, another brains to become a wise businessman—who exploits the first man's intelligence. A third receives only poetic talent and dies in poverty. The moral: "There ain't any" (fairness/justice). The cartoons satirize materialism, social pretension, and the futility of human ambition in early 20th-century America.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE Gertrude AT Uncle’s Approval a Y NEPHEW, Perry Bleat, was, ac- cording to his own opinion, not appreciated by his fellow-men at his proper worth,” stated old Fes- tus Pester. “He felt that he was not being given all the kind applause that his efforts so richly merited. Speaking in round num- Le s, at a christening he wanted to be the baby, at a wedding the bride, at a funeral the corpse, and in parades the mayor in carriages, and because he couldn't be his feelings were hurt quite a good deal. Fi- nally, when he couldn’t endure the indiffer- ence of the world any longer, he wrote me was going to end it all, and on Thursday he would that, alas, he that at 5 P. be dead. “Tt was 3:10 on the fatal afternoon when I received the letter, and it took me so long to open, read and digest it, and get to the telegraph office, that it was not until 3:28 that I sent him a dispatch expressing my approval in these words, ‘Much obliged!’ Of course, I had a right to say more, for you are allowed ten words for the minimum fee, but there didn't seem to be anything COLUMBIA COUNTRY Why does he play golf all winter? CLUB, Dorothy more to say. But, be that as it may, he didn’t appreciate my apprec so angry that just to spite me he absolutely declined to commit suicide at any terms.” —Tom P. Mergan. tion, and was The Old Boy's Valentine HEN skies are dark with mystery Of night; Across the path the soul When music of the day that ra In brighter hour: Keep vigil lonelier than you knew, Ere Memory’s fantastic crew Sat by and down the tly The hauntin; and sable curtains hang chair weirder Than mortal ever dr and thrilled You start gaze the room ar With eyes that now with tear Old Love, ‘tis only I, that cannot rest My spirit seeks you; fain would be Frederic ¥ At Midnight lother!” You.” “May L listen to you while you tell me that you simply can’t stand it to have me ask you for another drink?” CHEVY Well, you see. there are fewer people to watch him. CHASE, MD. And It Continues So DESTINY was busy endowing the hu man race. “Here nature and without brains. [sh him a millior “And thi with a sunken eye and a bulging head, “is a man that T have equipped with brains With them he shall win from the world his share of its wealth. “Thus have 1 deavor.” And Destiny was pro But there whom she had very nearly overlooked. “This one,” eying it kance, “could neither acquire wealth nor keep it if he had it. 1 shall make of him a Poet.” Then she placed them all three upon the earth and removed her hand. Whereupon, the Millionaire promptly used the man’s brains to lubricate the machinery: of gross of said, Il make of indicating « poor specimen balanced was one said Destiny wise his business. And the Poet died in the Poorhouse Moral: There ain't any Lowell Otus Reese comicbooks.com