Judge, 1916-02-05 · page 5 of 28
Judge — February 5, 1916 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical piece mocks an excessively formal, pretentious educator named Professor Niggerdemus Jones. The illustration shows him in an old-fashioned racing car (suggesting he's "behind the times" despite claiming modernity), accompanied by what appear to be students. The joke centers on Jones's overwrought management style: he replaces simple discipline with absurd euphemisms—calling a strap a "hickory," asking "does you keep in?" instead of directly commanding order, and insisting students address him with excessive respect. His verbose, affected speech patterns contrast sharply with the straightforward superintendent he replaced. The satire targets pompous educators who substitute grandiose language and pretense for effective teaching, making school administration comically ineffectual through self-aggrandizing formality.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“+ JINGLE BELLS*'-A MODERN ADAPTATION THE ADVANCED METHOD OF PROFESSOR NIGGERDEMUS JONES . SAH, boss,” said Prof. Rastus Brown to the superintendent of “1 done lay down on my job so to speak. I herewif han’s in my resugna- tion.” He explained that his patience was exhausted, adding that if he could “tek Mose by de scruff uv de neck an’ th’'ow him th’ough the winder, an’ Mandy by her kinky wool an’ shake her twill her teef rattled, an’ treat er dozen mo’ in de same officious manner,” he ‘“‘mought bring oder out er chaos; but de school bode won't stand fer no such be- haviousness on my part,” said he, “so my resugnation is befor’ you and are final.” Yo persuasion on the part of the super- intendent could induce him to retain his “y education, By BELLE R. WARRISON honorable position as principal of Shake Rag school. “Yes, sah, I knows it’s er ornery position, but my resugnation are final.” This was at the time the board elected a new principal and Prof. Rastus Brown moved to another district, hoping to better his condition, His successor, Prof. ‘gerdemus Jones, was black and shiny of skin and excessively corpulent. He soon acquired the reputation of keep- ing splendid order. His pupils toed the mark and the school board and superin- tendent esteemed themselves fortunate in securing his services. Late in the spring Prof. Rastus Brown was in Shake Rag between trains (i.e., ox carts) and decided to Visit the scene where the piccaninnies had made his life miserable. He ked into the schoolroom and in- troduced himself to the new principal, Prof. Niggerdemus Jones. He was aston- ished to observe the deportment of the room. Lessons well learned —attentiou fine manner respectful—the eyes of the pupils riveted on the teacher. He was amazed, almost dumfounded. What had brought about the transformation? When he could secure the private ear of Prof. Niggerdemus Jones, he asked the meaning of the change. “Does you keep in No, sah.” “Does you use de hickory?” “No, sah.” “What erbout mus’ whale ’em.” de cowhide? You sho’ », sah.” “What docs you do, sah?”—gazing at him with ever increasing respect. “Why,” said Prof. Niggerdemus Jones, with pride in his voice, “dis school is con- troHed wid-out er word an’ it’s ez easy to do comicbooks.com