Judge — January 29, 1916 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

es: With the College Wits The Letter Home—Of course I’m not the least homesick. How Tabby and the three gray kittens?—Penn State Froth. Then Why?—“Will you marry me, Ethel? My family is all one could wish for—" “Then why do you want me?"”—Jester. Sorry—Eloise—You have made a great impression upon me. Eloitus—I'm so sorry. V'll not hold you so tightly next time.—Xecord. Exercise dog any Owner—Yes, he goes for a tramp every day—Burr, itor—Do you give your Her Request—He—I want to tell youa joke about mistletoe. She—Be sure it isn’t over my head.— Widow. Did She See It? —c (telling joke from the “ Follies”) Do you see the point? She—f it’s what [ think it ig and you're no gentleman.-—Jack o” Lantern, In the Soda Parlor —S/:e—Oh, here’s a Billy Burke Special. 1 wonder what that is?” He (with a scowl scanning the price list)— Twenty cents, if you know what that is!— Nebraska A an. Not Opinionated—‘So my daughter has consented to become your wife. Have you fixed the day of the wedding?” “T will leave that to her.” “Will you have a church or a private. wedding?” “Hoe mother can des that.” “What hav u to live on?”” will leave that entirely to you, sir.”— Yale Record. An Anecdote and a Conundrum. n, President of the New York ion and mine host of the t, Troy, N. Y., in his amusing speech at the recent convention of the association in New York, told this: They tell a story of some years ago at the Hotel, before the use of cash sked his barkeeper one y money out of th man replied that onc little carefare. Reed said, “Where do you live, Chicago?’” And this was propounded: “Tam going to ask you a conundrum: Question: What three words in the Englis| language provide the most laughter? “Answer, William Jennings Bryan.” Splitting Headaches— Sera For No Reason At All Good House- ‘Bureau HESE puzzling headaches are due fre- : quently to intestinal absorption of toxic substances (auto-intoxication) without ap- parent constipation. Nujol is particularly valuable in such cases, because it has the property of absorbing and removing intestinal toxins, besides giving safe and effective relief in most cases of periodic and chronic constipation. Nujol is not a purge nor a laxative. It acts in effect as a mechanical lubricant. It prevents the intestinal contents from becoming hard and so facilitates the normal processes of evacuation. Most druggists carry Nujol, which is sold only in pint bottles packed in cartons bearing the Nujol trademark. If your druggist does not carry Nujol, accept no substitute. We will send a pint bottle prepaid to any point in the United States on receipt of 75c.— money order or stamps. Write for booklet “The Rational Treat- ment of Constipation.” Address Dept.13. STANDARD OIL COMPANY (New Jersey) New Jersey Nuj ol Bayonne REG US PAT OMEI KE’ PRESS CUTTING BUREAU R will send you all newspaper clippings which may aj pear about you, your friends, or any subject on which you may want to be “up to date.” Every newspaper and riodical of importance in the United States and Eurove is searched. Terms, $5.00 for 100 notices. HENRY ROMEIKE, 106-110 Seventh Ave., N.Y. The Ideal Tour to Mexico, Panama, or the California Expositions is via NEW ORLEANS (“Tie Paris of America” Offering delightful vartation from the Winter abroad, with afl the attractions of » Continental eity The St. Charles . ALFRED S. AMER & CO., Ltd., Props. Tipetnted Yana “stcormmedating, 1000 guests SEND FOR FOLDER comicbooks.com