Judge — January 22, 1916 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

CARAMELS will be an added pleasure to your guests. These caramels are “really different”—better than you prob- bly imagine. They are ae in appearance, quality flavor and the most carefully made of all confections. In case your local dealer cannot supply you send twenty-five cents for a tnal introductory package. Then you will know just how delicious Caramels can be. Repel, NEW YORK “KING OF CARAMEL MAKERS” 42nd Street and Fifth Avenue 30 West 34th Street Twenty-nine Years Before The First Canal Was Built Carstairs Rye had reached the “top notch” of perfection. This same perfection—so much enjoyed in the “good old times’—is yours today, in the non- refillable bottle——“A Good Bottle to Keep Gcod Whiskey Good.” Stories with Smiles A Logical Lunatic—“Lunatics _fre- quently return amusing answers,” says the supe rintendent of a great insane asl: “One day a keeper was out walking with a number of harmless inmates, and the party met a pedestrian not far from the railway tracks. With a nod toward the tracks the traveler asked one of the lunati ‘Where does this railway go to?’ “The lunatic surveyed him scornfully for .t moment and then replied: “*Nowhe trains on. We keep it here to run —Youth's Companion. * Value of a Horse—In an Ohio town there was a groceryman who kept the most emaciated-looking horses in the whole state. One day the delivery boy drove one of the ags a bit too hard, and, finding a soft spot in the lower end of the township, the horse lay down and peacefully died. Large com- n, of course, on the part of owner. I'm awfully sorry, Mr. Brown,” said the ated boy. “I didn’t go to do it.” You are sorry, are you?” yelped the ed Mr. Brown. “Well, i that going y me for the loss of the hor No, sir,” answered the boy. pay for the horse, all right. You him out of my next week’s wages.” change. “T will n take Ex- An Ungallant Hobo—A hobo knocked on the back door of a suburban home, which was opened by a large, muscular, hard-faced ma “Get out of here, you miserable tramp!” exclaimed the woman in a screechy voice, at the first sight of the hobo. “If you don’t march stra ight for that back gate I will call my husbanc “T guess not,’ the tramp. “H “Is that so, Mr. ful rejoinder of the large lady. know he isn’t at home?” “Because,” grinned the hobo, backing 1 the aforesaid gate, ‘when a man °s a woman like you he is home only at meal time.”"—Philadel phia Telegraph. "” was the calm response of «How do you tor The Deferred Answer—At the rate of 100 yards in 18 seconds Jobson was running The reason he wasn’t running faster was, that was as fast as he could run. Or, as the children say, all the faster that he could run. Blogson, on the sidewalk, was making no speed at all. The reason was he was standing still. He wasn’t catching trains that morn- ing. Suddenly Blogson called: “Hey, Jobson! Jobson! Hey!” Jobson’ turned "without slackening his speed any more than he could help, for he knew that if he didn’t catch that train it would go without him, and Jobson took nothing in life more serious than he did catching trains. Goin’ somewhere?” Blogson called Two da Blogson’s telephone bell rang at 3 o'clock in the morning. Blogson answered it with one hand while he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes with the other. Jobson’s voice: n? Yes, I was going to “This you, Blog vin catch a train. G'bye!”—Louiscille Times. comicbooks.com