Judge, 1916-01-15 · page 17 of 28
Judge — January 15, 1916 — page 17: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes early 20th-century telephone etiquette and gender dynamics. **"The Invitation"** depicts a woman calling a man and asking him to guess her identity—a common social game of the era. The humor lies in the man's predicament: he cannot recognize her voice and awkwardly guesses the wrong woman's name (Clara), revealing he's received calls from multiple women. The woman feigns hurt that he's forgotten her, though they've only met once briefly. The "Male Version" presents the inverse: a man's straightforward phone call without games. **"He Has His"** (bottom cartoon) shows a wealthy man boasting about owning an automobile while a questioner asks if he's aware of the country's per capita wealth. The satire mocks nouveau-riche materialism—he measures his worth by possessing a car rather than understanding actual economic statistics. **"The Pessimist Breaks Loose"** is a humorous poem cataloging life's inevitable complaints: disease, financial burden, taxes, and misfortune—suggesting pessimism as the rational response to modern existence.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Invitation (A daily telephone incident) HE: Is this Mr. Smith? He: Yes. She: Guess who’s speaking. He: Y haven't the slightest idea. She: Oh, go on—guess. He: I can’t. She: Well, guess anyhow. He: I'm sure I would be wrong. She: Well, let me see how close you can come. He: Unever guess “‘ who's speaking.” liable to get one into trouble. She: Do so many women call you up? He: No, but I never can recognize voices over the ‘phone. She: Well, guess just this time anyhow. He: [ tell you I haven't the first idea as to who it She: Have you forgotten me so soon? He: Of course, I haven't. She: Well, then, guess. He: (Desperately) Is it Clara? She: Clara who? He: Oh, never mind. Who is it? She: Do you mean Clara Scott? He: No. Who is this anyhow? She: I didn’t know you knew Clara Scott. He: 1 don’t. She: Well then, what Clara did you think was? He: I won't tell you. Who is this? She: Try another guess. He: What’s the use? She: Just one. He: No. If you don’t tell me who it is T will ring off. It’s : I think you're mean. I’m all through guessing. She: Well, it’s Alice Simpson. He: Oh, hello, Miss Simpson. I recognize your voice now, She: I don’t believe you even remember when you saw me last. He: Oh, yes I do. She: When was it? He: At Motherell’s theater party. She: There! I knew you didn’t remember. He: That was the last time. You can’t put anything over on me now. She: Oh, no, it wasn’t. Think signin londine—Live pets in leash are all the rage in fashionable ; «5 rele. He: Well then, when was it? Brunelta—I wonder if that is why Gertrude Giddigad keeps She: Can't you remember? He: No, except at Motherell’s. She: Don’t you remember the day I was driving up the avenue, and you were riding on the top of a bus? He: But that doesn’t count. meet, we just passed. We didn’t She: But that was the time you saw me last Really, we have no more space for this kind of stuff. About four pages farther on She invites He to dinner Monday week, and he accepts. MALE VERSION : ’Lo, Bill. Sam talking. Eat with me it at Pietro’s at seven? "Bye. —Randolph Bartlett. HE HAS HIS “ Young man, are you aware that the per capita wealth in this country is $15.62? “No: it one person in every forty-five owns an automobile, and I've got mine. so many beaux on a string. Have you your share?” FOLLOWING FASHION The Pessimist Breaks Loose By WALTER G. DOTY HI a land of small delight Where all we mortals dwell, Where something pesters day and night And holidays, as well. Misfortune’s ice is spread afar, Whereon each mortal slips; And those who dodge the motor car Appendicitis grips. While shines the sun man maketh hay, And sunstroke is his gain. He saveth for a rainy day; And lo, it doesn’t rain. ‘The demon corn gnaws at his feet, Or pain his eye tooth rides, Or something that he’s had to eat Disturbs his whole insides. His wife deletes whate’er he’s earned And buyeth hats galore; And, every time his back is turned, They raise his taxes more. Almost before he gets to bed A new day doth commence. Full oft he’d wish that he were dead— Except for the expense. Such is the life we mortals live— A paltry, tiresome task. All joys are given in a sieve, Cares in a stoppered flask; If poor, a man is thought a dunce; If rich, ’tis called’a crime. Good fortune knocks, ’tis said, but once; Hard luck knocks all the time. Striking Dauber—What do you think was the most striking picture at the exhibition ? Brushe—The picture of “Inno- cence” in a gilt frame. Even This Year Some athletes first athletics hail And wisdom half despise, But all the athletes down at Yale ‘Are eager to get Ys. comicbooks.com