Judge, 1915-12-25 · page 4 of 29
Judge — December 25, 1915 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* magazine uses satire to critique New Year's resolutions and personal reform. The header illustration shows cherubs struggling with a long chain of resolutions, suggesting the difficulty of maintaining them. The main editorial "The New Year" satirizes the paradox of New Year's reform: people make grand resolutions they rarely keep, comparing this to forced subjugation under tyrannical "Old Man Habit." The text argues that letting go of resolutions entirely might be better than the inevitable failure—a cynical commentary on human weakness and self-deception. The companion piece "Unguarded Moments" advocates cherishing life's small, unplanned joys rather than obsessing over efficiency and progress. The dialogue snippet at bottom appears to mock marital discord disguised as witty banter.
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TAKING "BEM DOWN The New Year EPear ALLAN POE tells a story of a man who, through an unfortunate series of incidents, found himself hanging to a balloon by his right hand, his left arm hopelessly broken; the balloon béing tenanted by a malignant an- gel who forced him to consent to signify his subservience. The consent was given read- ily; anyone in the unfortunate predicament in which Poe’s hero found himself would have consented to anything on condition of his being restored to terra firma again. But after consenting, the angel demanded that his victim put his right hand into his left-hand breeches pocket as a sign of utter subjugation. It is in such a fix that many find them- selves placed by that ever-on-the-job Angel of the Odd, the New Year Resolu- tion. They are hanging to some- thing with all their strength, and the Resolution offers no compromise; they must let go, or split with the Resolution. And they are usually pretty sure that the letting-go pro- cess is going to hurt. The obvious moral of this is, Never get into such a state that letting go of anything can do you harm. There are a lot of little things that all do that could be profitably cut out, but if it is going to hurt more than usual to eliminate such things from the daily scheme of things something is wrong. We have let something get a strangle-hold on us when we should be gently but firmly administering the half- nelson to it; we are all tangled up with something which we should ES UNAS NE be coiling down and putting away. Instead of being, as we so fondly imagined, the lord and master of our habits, we are the slaves of a lot of petty tyrants, who just won’t quit pestering a man and hounding him around and popping up just when it’s most incon- venient, and saying, “Here, you big, strong man! Get up and hustle for me, for I’m the BOSS!” Around the first of the ‘year there is a stand made against these rulers of man’s destiny; but the insurrection seldom mects with much success. It is not much more logical than the religion of some people, which consists of the Ten Commandments, with the words ‘‘on Sunday” inserted after each mandate. There is a very wise saying, that if we would make life joyful, we should act as though every day were Christmas. True for you; and if you want to make your own road smooth and free from the snares of Old Man Habit, act as though every day were New Ye: 3 Mrs. Jack—Jack says he'll certainly get a divorce if I even at- tempt to color my hair. Mrs. Mack—The brute ! tate to you in that fashion ? Mrs. Jeck—No indeed. I've resolved to dye for freedom. Are you going to allow him to dic- L Unguarded Moments (UNDOUBTEDLY the most kindly act ever consummated by an ordinarily in- different Fate was the inauguration of the blessed institution of unguarded moments. In spite of the deal of cruel abuse and bitter contumely that has been carelessly heaped upon these happy-go-lucky bits of Eternity that illumine the pathway of Time, they have really had no little share in the happi- ness and the upwa:d evolution of the human race. Hence it is that we view with alarm the coming era of rampant efficiency, when not a singte tick of time will be allowed to slip back into the past without having rendered a full account of its accomplish ments and the benefits it has bestowed upon humanity. But, thank Heaven, we are not fully efficient yet. and—more thanks to Heaven— we are not likely to be so for some time to come. The one hopeful thing about the present efficiency crusade is that it is hope- less. ‘This wise old world has always been fond of its unguarded moments. Let us cherish and nourish the heritage. Until Father Time calls us away from the delightfully inefficient game of living and loving, let there bea few unguarded moments every day. Let us do a few things that do not pay, let us speak a few words that short- sighted humanity considers unwise, let us commit a deed now and then that only the Master of the Show knows is best for us. Brief Decisions many men take life “as it comes,” without realizing that life is not coming but going. 2 A woman loves a man for no other reason than that she wants to be loved herself.