Judge, 1915-12-04 · page 8 of 28
Judge — December 4, 1915 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a fictional story by Fred Ladd about Amethyst Jones, a wealthy "Olive Oil King," recounting his happiest Christmas to club friends. The narrative frames a romantic reminiscence: as a young would-be businessman in Chicago, Jones pursued a wealthy widow named Gertrude Knowles. The satire targets wealthy clubmen's pretentious storytelling and their romanticization of past conquests. Jones emphasizes "form" and "manner" repeatedly—how appearance matters more than substance in high society. His detailed praise of Gertrude focuses entirely on her "alluring quality" and the "uncertainty" of her widow status, suggesting shallow materialism masked by gentlemanly sentimentality. The top illustration shows a winter sleigh scene, contrasting old-fashioned romance with modern automobiles in the background—supporting the story's nostalgic tone about "the old ways." The satire gently mocks how wealthy men construct self-flattering narratives about their romantic pasts while revealing their actual superficiality and social pretension.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ee ae MN Gl) au = A MERRY CHRISTMAS—FOR TWO At certain seasons the old ways are the best AMETHYST’S HAPPIEST CHRISTMAS By FRED LADD HAT PARAGON of good humor, Amethyst Jones, the Olive Oil King, was entertaining at his club his friends, Justin John- son, of New Jersey, and Charlie Rixey, late of the Great White Way. ON } K estate. I can say to you, quite without bitterness, that I never came to be known as a, marvelous op- erator in real estate, in Chicago. Certain temperamental charac- teristics of my own, no doubt, were partly responsible for my failure: the altogether adorable chief causé was purely a matter of form, a lady,—a Mrs. Gertrude Knowles.” Amethyst relighted his good cigar. “Wise gentlemen like you, my friends, know that in this world a matter of form is frequently of amazing importance. The form “When you ask me to tell you of the happiest Christmas I ever spent,” he said, “I am bound to confess that it happened in Chicago. As a young would-be captain of personal finance, I had gone to that racy burg to attempt to sell suburban real of Gertrude Knowles, I may say in this connection, was perfectly conceived, and as perfectly expressed.” A blissful silence fell upon Amethyst’s auditors. “Gertrude was a widow, in Chicago. Widows are alway: charming. Widows in Chicago are enthralling. One never knows how long, or for what cause, or in what degree a lady is a widow, in Chicago. There is ever the excitement of the uncertainty. “The only element of certainty about Gertrude was her alluring quality. ‘This left nothing to be desired. Nothing whatsoever.” comichooks.eolm.