Judge — November 27, 1915 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Legal-Holiday Habit 4 Deer Legal-holiday habit has broken out in a new spot. In two of them, in fact. It is proposed that we have a legal holiday in honor of La- fayette, and another to be dedicated and set apart to the American Indian. For some rea- son, public sentiment, as teflected in the press, blows cold as to Lafay- ette but rather warm as to L It is a far cry to the days when the old Indian chief asked the pertinent question: “If the English own all that side of the river, and the French all this side, where are the lands of my fathers?” Today, we recog- nize the one and only native-born American and brother—although it was not to him that a famous politician had reference, when, in making up the State ticket, after all the racial blends and hyphens had been recognized, he sug- gested that “perhaps one American on the ticket would not be offensive.” Lo is in the United States senate today; in the person of the charming de- scendant of Pocahontas, he will enter the White House ere long. The reservation system is prac- tically a thing of the past—and we accept the red man without a reservation—which is more than can be said of most whites. These may or may not consti- tute reasons why the American Indian ought to be set aside and particularized by a legal holiday. But not the second Saturday of May—never, never the second Saturday of May! We haven't a single holiday— legal or otherwise—in the long, arid stretch from July 4 to the First Monday in September—the period above all others when the mortality of the office-boy’s aid of legal holidays. We haven’t a holiday in March—unless you count St. Patrick’s day as such—and in April all we have is the day we celebrate in honor of all of us— All Fools’ day. Not then in May, prithee, noble Red Man! Listen to the paleface petition— make it about the second Monday in August! What Head Coils Promise R. BELL, inventor of the telephone, sug- gested not long ago in a speech before the American Institute of Electrical Engin- eers, that the time soon may come when folks. will be able to exchange ideas by means of electric head coils. Men can do nearly everything else by electricity already,” he argued, “and T can ne: Eisen imagine them with coils of wire about their heads and communicating thought by induction.” What misery such adevice would bring to guilty criminals, and what bliss to true lovers, is obvi- ous. It would ruin the publishing game, because al- most everybody would subscribe to Dr. Bell's Daily Induc- tion Coil, instead of to the newspapers and magazines. Of course, the poor old English language, in a bad way already, would fall into more disuse than Yet, have we not been warned? Can't you recall how, before the “movies” captured our evenings, we used to lounge around at home (or even in clubs) and talk? Now we sit in a dark- ened hall, silent for hours, watch- ing a screen. Who knows?—if electricity keeps up its advance on the double-quick, we may soon begin to lose the use of our tongues. What need will there be for words, when we can exchange thoughts without taking the trouble to translate them into language? Humanity will at last. be extricated from all the -difficulties into which it became involved at the building of the ‘Tower of Babel. With a pair of head coils in his possession, a traveler will be able to exchange ideas freely and speedily with anybody he happens to meet. Esquimau, Kaf- fir, Turk, Albanian—all will un- derstand. Only, woe betide him if ever he gets stranded in a cannibal isle and something goes wrong with a gasket or a sparkplug or suchlike whatnot of , one of his induction engines! Many a good whittler never grandmother needs to be as- suaged and abated by the utmost THE GOOD SAMARITAN scems to carve out a fortune.