Judge — November 27, 1915 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

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A 8=6Write Men and Women : Photoplays To Write Photoplays ; by Elbert Moore Career Seer Ear of oe Ith New Ideas needed to 30, -99, movie theatres CH Baropean supely” 11 yom sthend the tov (Eat WOME ts tare PASSING THE MUSTARD Tim’s Industry—“ Ye have turned very industrious lately, Tim,” said one Tip- perary man to another. “That I have, bedad,” replied the other. “T was up before the magisthrate last week for battherin’ Cassidy, and the judge tould me if I came back on the same charge he would fine me tin dollars.” “Did he?” said the first speaker. “And ye’re working hard so as to kape yer hands off Cassidy?” “Don’t ye believe it,”’ said the industrious man. “I’m working ha-r-r-rd to save up the tin dollars.” —Buffalo Courier. Heartily Indorsed—A young reporter who took his first check to the bank and was asked by the cashier to indorse it on the back, wrote: “I heartily indorse this check.” —Chicago Herald. It Was the First Time—Jones was a pastmaster of the habit of carelessness. He dropped things around in any old place and afterwards never remembered where that place was. One night he rose from bed to get some medicine and swallowed his collar button in mistake for a cough drop. “Mary,” said he to his wife when the awful truth dawned upon him, “I have swallowed my collar button.” “That’s all right,’”’ responded wife in a tone of evident satisfaction. ‘There’s nothing to worry about.” “Nothing to worry about?” returned father. “Do you—” “That’s what I said,” interrupted little wifey. ‘For once in your life you know , where you’ve put it.”—Philadelphia Tele- graph. Stage Type—“ My bride is disappointed about housekeeping.” “What's the trouble?” “She can’t get a maid who will curtsey like they do in the musical comedies she goes to see.”—Kansas City Journal. A Bug-—Clerk (assessor’s office)—Fel- low outside says you've assessed his real estate too little by $20,000. Assessor—Give him a cigar and keep him quiet while I telephone the asylum!—Phila- delphia Bulletin. Wise Cat Was He—Two suburban gardeners were swearing vengeance on cats. “It appears to me,” one said, “that they seem to pick out your choicest plants to scratch out of the ground.” “There’s a big yellow tomcat,” the other said, “that fetches my plants out and then sits and actually defies me.” “Why don’t you hurl a brick at him?” asked the first speaker. “That’s what makes me mad,” was the reply. “I can’t. He gets on top of my greenhouse to defy me.”—Kansas City Star. If—“What chance have I got with that girl? One of her admirers owns an automobile and the other has a motorboat.” “Son, if she likes you, a trip to the movies would please her just as well.” —Birmingham Age-Herald. Honesty—“ Honesty is the best policy,” said the ready-made philosopher. “Of course it is,” replied Mr, 3 Stax. “But the public doesn’t Duta realize it. Most people would rather be cheated a little in an affable way than d business with a person whose keeps him in a state of irritation.” —fyaq. ington Star. Hard Luck—“I never have any luck. Everything goes against me.” “What's the matter now?” “The doctor says my husband must give up smoking. “Well, you ought to be glad if he follows the doctor's orders.” “Glad! Just as I was within 500 co to get a new set of cut-glass tumblers”— Detroit Free Press. Knew Him—Gibbs—Bilson expresed a good deal of sympathy for poor Blank Did you try him for a contribution? Dibbs—No. I know Bilson; he’s like the letter “p”—first in pity and last in help.—Boston Transcript. Just Staying—“Where are you living now, Podgers?” “Nowhere. Boarding at the same od place.”—Browning’s Magazine. His Grouch—‘“I suppose you'll be ia the gay social whirl this winter?” “Who? Me?” replied Mr. Cummx “Not a chance. The further my wife gets into society the more she realizes that I don't belong.” —Washington Star. Odd, to Say the Least—Hich—This match won’t light. Hike—That’s funny. It lit all right a minute ago.—Michigan Gargoyle. Vol. LXIX. November 27, 1915 No. 178 Copyright, 1913, by LedieJudge Company. Entered at the Postoice at New York as seoadctee rail maiter. rk,” Telephooe 663% Madieoe Sqase y LealicSudge Company, . 285 Fifth Avenue, Ni Wyal - Washington, D.C; Jobn A. steer President, Reuben P. Steiche, Se’ E, Rollaver, Treasurer, Grant E. Hamilton’ At Director, J. A Waldra, Bt SUBSCRIPTION RATES by draft on New York, ory om postal order. re protected be conrrel ‘aod Great Britais. vay news stand, the po that fact be prospdy 1, 10 cents per cpr Jepeniiencies aad ‘rots yea Payable ia adva ‘The contents th Marquette Building = NeW ENGLAND NDVERTISIN Tremont Buildiog ~~ comichooks.couy