Judge, 1915-11-13 · page 12 of 28
Judge — November 13, 1915 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple short humorous pieces typical of Judge's satirical format: **Top cartoon ("Inhuman")**: Shows a man and woman in a motorcar that has crashed into a tree. The caption jokes about stopping the vehicle without a tree—implying the only way to stop their reckless driving is collision. This satirizes early automobile culture and dangerous driving habits of the era. **Text pieces below** include: - **"Joy"**: Philosophical essay defending leisure and happiness as life's legitimate purpose - **"A Diplomat"**: Anecdote mocking diplomatic evasiveness through a bus driver who misleads a passenger about child fares - **"Class in Current Events"**: Brief classroom joke where a student conflates his father's opinion with General Sherman's famous war quote - **"To Her Taste"**: Joke playing on a woman marrying a "blockhead" who likes "hard wood trimmings"—a pun on interior decoration preferences **"Tatting"**: A sentimental poem by Clinton Scollard about watching a woman do lacework (tatting), expressing romantic longing through extended metaphor. The page reflects early 20th-century American humor: automobiles, gender dynamics, and romantic sentiment.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
INHUMAN Fair passenger—Say, Archie, how d’ you manage to stop it when there's no tree about ? Joy HO, clad in the panoply of happi- ness, fears the sting of vexation and worry? Who, emanating joyous sunshine, fears the propin- quity of gloom? Who, dwelling in the realm of jo: knows that pe simism even ex- ists? Joy isthe excuse for living. Some toil a lifetime for a fortune, some seck business success, some fight for love ase fame, some grasp for power and some woo simplicity. But a last ysis shows that all are secking the same thing, Joy. All the paths of endeavor con- verge at one point, Joy. Joy is the life of life. Joy is a permanent mental stimulation. Joy is the lubricant of the cranial mechan- icism. Some of the synonyms of joy are mirth, health, youth, beauty, strength, pleasure, altruism, melody, harmony, fragrance and love. Class in Current Events Teacher—What did General Sherman say about war? Pupil—Pa says times is. A Diplomat “Do I have to pay fare for the little fellow?” asks the mother, of the driver of the jitney bu: “Is he over five?” asks the driver. “Yes. hen he has to be paid for.” The mother pays and goes her way contented. A remaining passenger asks: “What would you have done if the child had been under five?” “Oh, I would have collected the fare just the same. But you sce I sent her away thinking of her child's age instead of his fare.” A Reasonable Reason “Why must you always go out every time one of my woman friends calls?” “Well, my dear,” responded her husband, “Tam glad to meet your friends. But you must remember that I have heard the story of your summer vacation about seventeen times now.” To Her Taste Jess—Why did Mae marry Harold? He's a perfect blockhead. Bess—Well, you know she always liked hard wood trimmings in a house. Modern Pilgrim's Progress Hesitation, one step, castle walk, tango, fox trot, maxixe, globe trot. Tatting N her low rocking chair, Dawn in her wavy hair, Down-bent, the white Over her tating Ah, such aw For an enam Round he Time of frost, time of flowers, I could stand b nd hours: Watching her fingers! Dainty in shape and size, her shuttle flies, — such skillful Shifted and shaken! Put in parenth AIL need say is this (Mabel’s for me the Miss, Or Hm mistaken’) Out and in, in and out, How the thr While my poor heart in doubt Keeps pit-a-patting! Does she dream, does she guess, What I must here confe That I'm caught in duress Tight in her tatti —Clinton Scollard. whisk about,