Judge, 1915-10-16 · page 9 of 28
Judge — October 16, 1915 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces mocking early 20th-century gender dynamics and vanity: **"A Female of the Species"** (main cartoon): A vain woman monopolizes a railway car's dressing room, endlessly discussing her elaborate grooming routine—her hairdresser "Madame St. Pearl," her "switch" (hairpiece), makeup, and dress. The satire targets women's obsession with appearance and their obliviousness to inconveniencing others. The cartoon presents her self-absorption as ridiculous and time-wasting. **"And Figures Never Lie"**: A husband justifies buying two cars and taking a canal trip by noting his wife has kept him waiting for fifteen years—suggesting women's frivolous use of time. **"Vain Woman—a Comedy"**: A theatrical piece mocking women's lifelong performance of youth and femininity across all life stages—from babies to grandmothers—always seeking male admiration through artifice. The page's consistent theme: women are vain, self-absorbed, and use manipulative femininity. These pieces reflect period attitudes toward women as frivolous consumers of beauty products and male attention.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A Female of the Species GURE, come right in. I’m most dressed. I always get in early so I’m always ready when they call my station. . “T'll be through with one of these mir- rors presently—it takes me so long to do my hair myself—I do believe in being particular—and_ I’ve just washed it and—what ‘did I shampoo it in this |. dressing room?’ Oh Lord, no! Ma- dame St. Pearl does all my work—has the Creme de la Creme Beauty Par- lors in Butteville, you know—gives me the sweetest hair-dress—she’s perfectly grand! and so quick—What’s that? ‘you wish she was here?’ Say! wouldn’t that be swell! “Now where did I lay my switch? Oh, there it is, beside your tooth brush, lady. Don’t mention it—you didn’t hurt it a mite! “Don’t you ladies think a little make- up's a great protection to the face, in travelling? Madame St. Pearl advises it. “Now I’m ready for that dress skirt hanging right over your hat, there, lady. Thanks awfully. Ohno! You didn’t muss it to amount to anything. I’m so glad I got in here early! I haven't had to feel the least bit rushed. ‘I’m the only one that hasn’t’? Well it does pay to take plenty of time to dress. Lots of women look as if they’d just thrown themselves together. “‘Some of them have to dress while they wait.’ Haha! That’sa good one. You're sure some joker, Miss. AND FIGURES NEVER LIE Wife—Tom, dear, I'm Husband—I've just buy two new cars, and take a trip through the canal I've waited for you in the last fifteen years. call I'm late again. red out that we could pa: But what are you so happy about ? “If you don’t take your dinner I'll give it to the nice man.” “Yes, he called Rathdrum—they’re slow- ing up, ain’t they? Any of you ladies get off here? Oh, do you? Now ain’t that ashame! And your hair’s not half-done! “Oh, just going to meet your husband! 'Twon’t matter then. They get used to it. “Well, I’m most through. Dearie, would you mind hooking me up the back? And I'll have to trouble you, lady, to move back into the doorway just a minute or two, while I pin on my hat. “Thanks awfully. So long!” —Jane Redfield Hoo- ver. Highly Rated She—She died worth $25,000 and left her hus- band $5. He—Well, some hus- bands are “one man ina thousand ” — hers was one in five thou- sand. Cupid’s Car “You know, the Newly- weds told everybody about the thousand-mile off the mortgage on our home, if I had a dollar for every hour motor honeymoon they’d planned. Well. when they saw the sign somebody had hung on their car, it just broke their hearts.” “What was it—‘ Don’t blame ’em; they’re married?’”” “No— Jitney Bus.’” Very Probable Bibbs—What has become of the fool- killer? Gibbs—I can’t guess, Bibbs, unless he quit because he couldn’t get extra pay for working overtime. Vain Woman—a Comedy Prologue: All the world’s a stage. Yes, yes, that’s true! How lovely woman loves the “ingénue!”” This part she plays till all her days are through. : A dimpled baby with a rattle gay, Waving to raptured men a cute “Day-day!”” ': A schoolgirl, long legs, plaits; her wiles Turning the little boys to beaux with smiles. A débutante: bouquets, teas, plays and dances, Setting men crazy with her witching glances. Y: A blushing bride (the blush is rouge)— What fun! Rice, wedding bells, cakes, veils—tife’s just begun. A mother, decking babes in silks and laces, Striving to get them in high social places. A chaperone, gaily dancing with “the boys,” ‘ox-trotting, smoking, golfing, motor joys. A grandmother, wigged, be-painted, stayed, Hating to leave the life through which she’s played. But now the play must stop, for sure and certain, The prompter calls, “Lights Out!” and so, THE CURTAIN. —Margaret G. Hays. Vi: Aa VU: comicbooks.com