Judge, 1915-10-02 · page 7 of 30
Judge — October 2, 1915 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces reflecting early 20th-century American social attitudes: **"Me and the Milkmaid"**: A poem by Tudor Jenks mocking a presumptuous man who insults a milkmaid's singing voice then offers to train her. When her boyfriend ("Peter") arrives, the narrator flees. The joke: his condescension backfires. **"A Failure"**: Satire on Progressive Era educational theory. A teacher attempts to motivate a working-class boy ("Bill") by appealing to sentiment—friendship, romance—to encourage studying. Bill dismisses it all casually, caring only for his ash-man friend and assuming girls are replaceable. The "failure" is that sentimental appeals don't work on boys from this social class, suggesting class-based cynicism about reform efforts. **"Peaceful Freedom"** and **"Got All the News"**: Brief gags about accepting losses for peace and wives' club memberships replacing newspapers as information sources—gentle domestic humor. **"The Acme of Bliss"**: Caption joke about scandal and breach-of-promise lawsuits, common entertainment fodder. The page is primarily humorous fiction rather than political commentary.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
His children—Wonder why the governor always wants to stop here? Queer he didn’t get tired of the place when he lived there as a boy! Me and the Milkmaid MET a milkmaid on the lea, All blithely was she singing; A beauteous sight she was to see, While loud her lay was ringing. “Sweet maid,” quoth I, “your winsome face Is worth a viscount’s ransom! Indeed you're far from commonplace— you handsome! “But when you try to sing a song, You flat it—most untunely. T think it fortunate for you We met so opportunely. “For L conduct a singing-school When I am in the cit And I can train your voice by rule To rightly sing that ditty!” Her face became a vivid pink The while she screeched, “Oh—Peter!” Theard footsteps, and saw a gink Come running in short meter Thereat I took me to my heels To seek the shade umbrageous, For fear that rude and rapid swain Might do some deed outrageous. Ard since that day all milkmaids may Sing sharp or flat at pleasure So long as milk comes to me fresh And sold by honest measure. —Tudor Jenks. A Failure APPEAL to their higher ideals, their honor, their affections, the young teacher had been instructed, and she thought she would try it out on small Bill. “If you do not study more, I can’t pro- mote you, and you will be separated from your friends, who will go to the next grade,” she said. “Huh! These kids ain’t my friends. Say, Miss Lee, I got a friend what rides with the ash man,” Bill began with pride, but was interrupted. “Tsn’t.one of the little girls your sweetheart, though?” Miss Lee ques- tioned, “Aw, a feller can have a girl, can’t he?” Bill demanded, his ears red. “Certainly; itis very nice that he should. How will you like it, however, to see her go away from the room?” Bill shrugged in a manner which Miss Lee was sadly forced to regard as typical of the unregenerate male. “Aw, by next year,” he said, “there'll be a fresh flock o’ chickens runnin’ 'round.”” Peaceful Freedom “Boys, stop fighting! all about?” “Why, this fellow stole our baseball outfit and won’t give it up!” “Let him keep it, then. Remem- ber, you have got to pay something for peace, and peace we must have at any cost!” What's it Got All the News “Why don’t you subscribe to my paper, Uncle Hy?” asked Editor Josh Lotts of the Smileyville Express. “It would be useless extravygance,” replied Farmer Hyperbole Medders. “My wife belongs to the Chautauquy Club, the Sewin’ Circle and the Missionary Society.” THE ACME OF BLISS Reading your rival's love letters in a breach of promise suit. comicbooks.com