Judge, 1915-10-02 · page 5 of 30
Judge — October 2, 1915 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate satirical pieces rather than unified political cartoons: 1. **"Me and the Milkmaid"** — A poem by Tudor Jenks about flirtation with a dairy worker, featuring light romantic humor typical of the era. 2. **"A Failure"** — A story about a young teacher (Miss Lee) attempting to discipline rural students through moral instruction. The satire targets the gap between urban educational ideals and rural resistance; students like Bill care more about practical matters (girlfriends, baseball) than abstract morality lessons. 3. **"Got All the News"** — A brief joke about a farmer dismissing a newspaper subscription, preferring local gossip networks (sewing circles, missionary societies) — mocking rural insularity versus urban information-seeking. The top illustration depicts an early automobile visitor encountering rural poverty, likely satirizing class contrasts or rural decline.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
His children—Wonder why the governor always wants to stop here? Queer he didn’t get tired of the place when he lived there as a boy! Me and the Milkmaid MET a milkmaid on the lea, ] All blithely was she singing; A beauteous sight she was to see, oy While loud her lay was ae ringing “Sweet maid,” quoth I, “your winsome face Is worth a viscount’s ransom! Indeed you're far from commonplace— Why, some might think you handsome! “But when you try to sing a song, You flat it—most untunely. I think it fortunate for you We met so opportunely. “For 1 conduct a singing-school When I am in the city; And I can train your voice by rule To rightly sing that ditty!” Her face became a vivid pink The while she screeched, “Oh—Peter!” Theard footsteps, and saw a gink Come running in short meter. Thereat I took me to my heels To seek the shade umbrageous, For fear that rude and rapid swain Might do some deed outrageous. And since that day all milkmaids may Sing sharp or flat at pleasure So long as milk comes to me fresh And sold by honest measure. —Tudor Jenks. A Failure ATEEAL to their higher ideals, their honor, their affections, the young teacher had been instructed, and she thought she would try it out on small Bill. “If you do not study more, I can’t pro- mote you, and you will be separated from your friends, who will go to the next grade,” she said. Got All the News “Why don’t you subscribe t Uncle Hy?” asked Editor Josh Smileyville Express. © my paper, Lotts of the “It would be useless extravygance,” replied Farmer Hyperbole Med iders. “My e belongs to the Chautauquy Club, the Sewin’ Circle and the Missionary Society.” “Huh! These kids ain’t my friends. {fifi Say, Miss Lee, I got a friend what rides ay with the ash man,” Bill began with pride, but was interrupted. “Isn’t one of the little girls your sweetheart, though?” Miss Lee ques- tioned. “Aw, a feller can have a girl, can’t he?” Bill demanded, his ears red. “Certainly; itis very nice that he should. How will you like it, however, to see her go away from the room?” Bill shrugged in a manner which Miss Lee was sadly forced to regard as typical of the unregencrate male. “Aw, by next year,” he said, “there'll be a fresh flock o’ chickens runnin’ round.” Peaceful Freedom “Boys, stop fighting! What's it all about?” “Why, this fellow stole our baseball outfit and won't give it up!” “Let him keep it, then. Remem- ber, you have got to pay something for peace, and peace we must have at any cost!” THE ACME OF BLISS Reading your rival's love letters in a promise suit, breach of comicbooks.com