Judge — September 25, 1915 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Somewhat Out of Place 666 A PLACE for everything, and everything in its place,’ was a line that used to ramble across the copybooks of our school days,” said the middle-aged Mis- sourian. “While I hadn’t thought of it for years before, it was recalled to me right strenuously the other day, Bragg Johnson went to town and bought one o’ them remittin’ alarm clocks, that whang away for a spell, quit a while, then retaliate some more, quit, and then clang ag’in, and so on, to the bitter end. I don’t reckon he got it b’cuz he needed it, but b’cuz it appealed to his mechanical sense, for Bragg is a studious man that-a-way. He can do ’most anything with tools except work miracles and ma condensed milk. In fact, he’s = so handy that it will prob'ly kill him some day. S Greaney “Well, anyhow, he hopped his mule and went addlin’ : homeward, peroozin’ the clock as he went, plumb pleased with his plunder. He ciphered along, turnin’ it round and round and over and under, windin’ it up and lettin’ it 7 whang, and so on. Finally, he concluded that he'd make FIRST LESSONS an estimate of how it operated. So he unscrewed it with his knife and a smile of happy anticipation. Allofasudden “Inside of halfan hour he — of me, and about the same quantity on the the clock had a spasm, flew to picces and disfiggered itself all had picked up only about — other side of him. ‘There was considerable over the road. The place »pened to be a narrer lane forty of the little wheels and talk and quotations bandered back and with a deep ditch on each side of the road, and with Bragg big wheels and other per- forth, but Bragg remained incontestable down on his knees fricasseein’ around in the dust after — quizzits originally part and and picked upta few more wheels. Prob'ly the wheels and springs and grammatical urrors, it was a — pestle of the defunct clock, — he'd have been there yet if it hadn't beea sad sight and one that stopped up the track complete when — and there was three teams, for me, for he ‘peared to be deaf to the per- I driv’ up on my way to town. [offered to help him, but hay-rake,a traction engine, — suasions of the sojourners. ‘They wanted to he said no, dad-burn it, Md tromp the pieces into the dust, several automobiles and make up a purse for him to buy another and went on rakin’. similar contraptions back — clock, but he wouldn't take it. He said he aimed to congregate that there special clock out o’ principle. But I got sorter impatient and gathered a gon-stake off'n my rig. and sooperinduced him to git out of the way and lay in the ditch till we all got past and went on our personal ways re- icin’. “Well, as [ said before, there's a place for everything. but U'll bur-hung if I believe the place to take alarm clocks to pieces is in a dusty road betwixt two deep ditches!” —Tom P. Morgan. The Widow KNOW a widow who c n it is her ch: ich frankness to isness alluring sweet, Such sympathy when we are sad, So fine an understanding sense— Can it be just because she's had Experience? So many come to pay her court And revel in her gladding smile, many think her just the sort With whom a life away to while L wonder why some likely lad Wins not her troth for recompense— Can it be just because st Experience? Lee Shippey. Many a man has considered himself a shining light just because he was burning Timid old ladg—Drat these automobiles! Now which way is that jitney comin’? the candle at both ends. comicbooks.com