Judge — September 18, 1915 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Be Sgt — HARO Lue, = The Neighbors Say F HE. is regular in attending church, he I is too pious. If he doesn’t attend church, he is on the road to perdition. @ If he sends his family as away for the Summer, it Co is more than he can afford. eX If he doesn’t allow them ) \ a vacation, he is called / stingy. { If he happens to be : successful in business, he achieved su unfairly, If he doesn’t succeed, he missed his calling. Ifthe piano is silent, why don’t they buy a player? Ii they have a player piano, it‘annoys the whole neighborhood. If he gives freely to charity, it is for show. If he doesn’t, he is classed as a tightwad, If his wife does her own work, she is “killing herself” for the family. If she has servants, she ought to be more economical. If he dies young, he led too fast a life. If he lives to a ripe old age, he is living beyond his time. —Clinton Church St Says Caroline Catter “I want to be an angel, ‘cnnyson J. Dat. Class in Current Events Teacher—What lessons do we learn from the attack on the Dardanelles? Prize Scholar—That a strait beats three kings, Dad says. Shot in the Melee quacious Visitor—* So you were wound- ed at the front, my good man?” Irishman—* No; begorry. I was wounded in the rear av me.” What the Fat Woman Said “John, you pay the fares. I can’t get in my pocketbook. In Boston Small William—* Father, kindly convey to my mind the meaning of the word ‘hobo.’ ”? Paternal Ancestor—*That is the consue- tudinary designation of an indigent traveler, my son.” It takes a lot of money to make a homely poor girl a pretty rich one. THERE WERE RUFF NECKS EVEN-IN THOSE DAYS! comicbooks.com