Judge, 1915-09-18 · page 12 of 28
Judge — September 18, 1915 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains **satirical advice to college sophomores** and two separate cartoon jokes. **The main text** ("To the Gallant Sophomore") ironically mocks wasteful college behavior: skipping lectures, studying only during chapel, lying to professors, collecting money from wealthy "College Widows" (a period term for older women who pursued young male students), and avoiding sleep and common sense. The satire targets both frivolous students and the enabling wealthy parents funding their excess. **Top cartoon**: A golfer asks his date if her shy boyfriend has proposed; she replies he hasn't asked directly, but complimented her foot—a modest romantic gesture typical of early-20th-century courtship. **Bottom cartoon** ("As She Looked to the Faint Heart"): A woman worries that heaven won't let her choose her own crown, satirizing women's desire for personal choice and vanity even in spiritual matters. The overall tone mocks collegiate excess, gender dynamics, and social pretension of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A GOOD Has your timid young lover asked for your hand yet ? Mildred BEG! Gertrude (as she follows through) —No ; but | am hopeful. NNING Last night he remarked that I had a pretty foot. T H E G he chief interest that Stingleheim, the Pawn T O A wise guy. Broker, has in your Academic Career is the interest that he He is a judge of values To get the utmost good out of your college course, elect all the snaps, like Archacology I, ics XI: Never study; You're lucky Father pays the Bills:—Make ‘em. excitin| Stir up his Circulation. Who said * Freshman One always Lucubrates best with six or eleven Class- matesinthe room; furthermore, the proper time to study is during Chapel ev ercises. Just tell your Professors anything they don't know. Do not utterly despise originality of conduct. many a man who looked at the inside of his books in college, has Made Good afterward, Be a Sport; hit it up; collect from the Devil he’s wealthy. Let their loveliness fade as it will, the College Widows are the bright and everlasting stars of your Expense account. There is a tautology, redundancy and plethora of Pains, when you walk hand-in-hand with Old Brigadier-General R. E. Morse Never be guilty of using your common-sense. lay it away in a hat-box under the bed, and let it grow strong. Never sleep: it’s an old-fashioned Error, the baneful effects of which are not understood by your Father and the other good-souled, harmless and whil A L LAN T S O P H OM ORE Cut every lecture you don’t like: it’s up to you to make your college life One € id, Sweet $ The world is getting too Swift for a fast man. Think it over. Good luck, Son! —Fred Ladd. The Cloud On Her Spiritual Horizon A woman's anticipation of Heaven is somewhat dimmed by the fear that she will not be allowed to select her own crown old Has-Beens who consider it Useful. Ha! It will make you much Brighter to get Lit. AS SHE LOOKED TO THE FAINT HEART