Judge, 1915-09-18 · page 11 of 28
Judge — September 18, 1915 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several brief humorous pieces targeting early 20th-century American social concerns: **"Human Interests"** jokes that a new baby generates more excitement than any other life event. **"An Ultimatum"** satirizes a divorce proceeding where the wife refuses to name her husband's mistress as co-respondent, quipping that the woman should "pay for her own advertising"—mocking both infidelity and the publicity-seeking behavior of stage actresses. **"Getting Ready for Them"** ridicules American snobbery: wealthy tourists wanting Europe-like experiences in America, suggesting locals adopt fake accents and pretentious airs. **"Sam and Dan"** makes a joke about Prohibition-era politics: when asked about allegiances (pro-German or pro-Allied, likely WWI-era), Dan deflects by claiming he's pro-Prohibition instead. **"Suffrage Belt"** jokes about women's suffrage: henpecked husbands now discuss their wives' political chances rather than men's. The remaining anecdotes mock insurance salesmen and exaggerate family drama for comedic effect.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Human Interests HEN Sister Nan And her young man Decided they would wed; All other thought Was set at naught Until I rashly said “No happening Can ever bring Such feverish unrest, Such energy, Activity And human interest!” But now I know It was not so— Since Nannie has a son! For that event All else has sent Into oblivion! —Lida Keck Wiggins An Ultimatum Lawyer —Do you intend to name Dolly Footlights as co-respondent ? Mrs. Wyld—No, let her pay for her own advertising. Getting Ready for Them “Jf tourists are going to sce America first in the future, as the papers so often state,” 7 said P.G. Pester, “it behooves * Ay! . the rest of us to get ready to Meo make this country seem as near as possible like the be- loved Europe they used to know. By acquiring a small stock of broken — dened with worthless sons-in-law who without any English and donning clean collars our lightning rod agents and insurance so- training whatever are excellent beggars. And the re- licitors would make first rate counts and grand dukes. Many of us are bur- mainder of us can probably learn from some correspon- dence school how to become entertaining yodelers.” Sam—Are you pro-German or pro-Allies ?. Dan—Neither, sir. I'm prohibition. In the Suffrage Belt Visitor—What are the boys around the store talking about nowadays? Village storekeeper—Politics and the next campaign. Visitor—Already discussing the chances of the native sons, ch? Village storekeeper — Not much. This henpecked crowd here don’t dare. They are discussing the chances of the native daughters. Pentateuchal Insurance “Your age, please,” said the insurance solicitor. “oo next birthday,” replied Melchizedek. “Pretty high rate, I’m afraid,” said the insurance man. “Why didn’t you come to me a couple of hun- dred years ago, and not put it off till you're middle aged?” A Stentorian Voice “My niece, Fannietta Flooter , is visiting at our house, accompanied by her infant son, Hubert St. Aubyns Flooter,” a trifle grimly admitted the Old Cod- ger. “A great deal of the time the baby cries for all he is worth, and his mother frequently states that he is HE MUST HAVE HAD worth his weight in gold.” Mother—Has that young man any idea of matrimony, my dear ? x Sine Deughter—Well, his father was married twice, and his mother three times, mamma ! Perhaps the proper artillery for Cupid is a pop gun. comicbooks.com