Judge, 1915-09-11 · page 8 of 28
Judge — September 11, 1915 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several short satirical jokes and a literary piece, rather than political cartoons. **"Knocking Noah"** is a humorous poem by W.J. Lampton criticizing Noah for not using the Flood as an opportunity to eliminate flies—suggesting he failed mankind by not killing the two flies aboard the Ark. It's absurdist humor about missed chances. The remaining items are brief social jokes typical of Judge's format: - **"Henpecked"** jokes about a timid man afraid to "kick at home" - **"Good Board"** puns on "board" (lodging vs. lumber) - **"Poor Chap"** ironizes someone who saved for rain that never came - **"Could Accommodate Him"** involves fresh paint and wordplay - **"Her Family Office"** uses "family skeleton" (secret shame) as a pun about a thin aunt - **"Jack trying to break into society"** satirizes social climbing as criminal behavior The Egyptian-themed illustration at top appears decorative. These are light, domestic humor pieces reflecting early 20th-century magazine conventions rather than serious political satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Knocking Noah H, NOAH, you archaic one Who had a chance to do The world a favor and did not, The world is sore on you. There was a time in your career When easily you could, By very simple means, indeed, Have made exceeding good. That time, old chap, was when you'd bunched All living things in pairs And had them loaded on the Ark To land betimes somewheres. Two elephants you had and two Of every other size And shape and sort, including of Two plain domestic flies. Auspicious moment that was when, If you had had a mind, You might have truly made yourself A friend to all mankind But Noah, you were derelict And lost the glory prize By failing, when you had the chance, To swat that pair of flies —W. J. Lampton Henpecked She—Was Algernon Watts on the football team when he was in college? He—I should say not! He never even had the nerve to ki home! Good Board New Comer—Can you tell me, please, where I can find good board in this town? One-Time City Dweller—Only in the lumber yard, I fear. Poor Chap JOR Binks! He has small luck, they say. His life is full of pain He saved up for a rainy day, And then it didn’t rain! Could Accommodate Him Robbins—I smell fresh paint. Hawkins—Well, here it is, Robbins, if you'd like to put your fingers on it. The Wise One “He is a perfect disciplina “Yep; never giv dead sure it will be obeyed.” Her Family Office Miss Peachblow—Your aunt is an aw- fully slender woman, isn’t she? Mr. Bu Yep, some bony. In fact, she’s our family skeleton. Gladys—What does this Mr. Smith do? Jack—Oh, he’s got an outside job. Gladys—Doing what? Jack—Trying to break into society.