Judge — September 11, 1915 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

EGYPTIAN DEITIE “ Oe Utmost in pe tes” Plain End or Co fi N A\\\ finement and educalion | uwariably PREFER Deities to any other THE BROZTELL ABSOLUTELY FIREPROOF Sth Avenue :-: 27th Street New York City Two Blocks from Subway, Hudson Tubes and Elevated Stations, Five Minutes from Penn. and Grand Central Stations. EVERY ROOM WITH BATH AND SHOWER PER $1.50 DAY UPWARDS Restaurant Prices Designed to Meet Popular Demand WILLIAM J. QUINN, JR. PRESERVE YOUR COPIES OF JUDGE ina handsome binder which we offer for $1.50, express charges collect. This binder will last for years, as it is heavily reinforced and it is so arranged that issues can be inserted as they are rec ived. Sectional posts allow for expansion. A bound file of JUD is very appropriate for your library table and a source of pleasure at all times, Address JUDGE 225 Fifth Avenue, New York Passing the Mustarg J itiless=~"Sorne men have no . said the tramp. "ve been a-tell feller 1 am so dead broke that at sleep outdoors. ve to Didn’t that fetch him?” asked Naw. He tol” me he was adie same thing, and had to pay the doct tellin’ him to do it.”"—Christian Rega Suspicion—‘“Oh, mother,” young wife, “John doesn’t ated ie “Why, my” child, what has be does “Well, you know, I cooked my first dinner for him today, and he invited a friend dine with him.” ‘The sobs broke sing “And oh, mother, the man was a doctor!"_— Stray Stories. : Modern Fiction—"I always read one of Thackeray’s novels two or three time” “T don’t want mine read that way,” sid the compiler of best sellers. “By the tine you finish one of my novels I have another ready at a dollar-fifty.”—Louisville Couric. Journal. Bluebeard Explains—The Intervie —Why did you assassinate all your wives as soon as the honeymoon was over? Blucbeard—Y ou see, I'd promised to lore each one as long as she lived, and no matter what other sins I’ ve committed, I never disappoint a lady.—Philadelphia Bulletin, How It Happened —‘“How do yu happen to be in prison?” “Tt is the result of an accident.” “You ran over some one with your auto?” “No, ma’am. I fell over a. chair and waked up the owner of the house.” —Housen Post. The Sabbatarian—Bridge!—The nv neighbors want to cut their grass, mum, and they sent over to ask the loan of your lawn-mower. Mistress—Lend them our lawn-mover to cut grass on the Sabbath! Certainly not! Tell them, Bridget, that we havent one.—Boston Transcript. Unconvinced—" Now, to illustrate the roundness of the earth,” said Columbus, “T will show you an egg.” “That dost convince me,” replied the court astronomer, “Tf you had waited till the egg became at omelet, it would prove that the earth is fat.” —Washington Star. The Better Name—“ Why do they all tem fountain pens? I should say reservoir pen would be the better name. A reservor contains liquids; a fountain throws ‘a around.” “I think fountain pen is the proper name,” said the party of the second part.—Louisville Courier-Journal. He and She—Sie—Have you ever read “Lives of the Hunted”? He—No; what's it about—bachelors?— New York Post. Really Serious—She—Are your inte® tions toward the widow really serious? He—They are! I intend, if possible, to get out of her clutches.—Boston Transcript.