Judge — August 14, 1915 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Bradleys parted from us without ef- tort and went dripping up San Souci Avenue. A boat so temperamental did not appeal tome. I did not want a boat that had togo out into the middle of the lake to watch it rain. So I waited until a new man moved in, and casually I dropped in to see him one day, and finally worked the conversation around to mo- tor boats. Then I told him how many points my boat had that the new ones didn't have. The day he paid the money over, I locked up my house and went back to the city. Always Cool Mrs. Lightfeede (the land- lady)—I am sorry to say that the drinking water is a trifle warm for this evening’s dinner. The iceman is very irregular about his calls of late. Mr. Fillup—Oh, that's - easily remedied, Mrs. Light- feede. Just draw usa pitch- erful from the hot-water faucet in the bathroom. vhat are diplo- matic relations? Pa—Ask your mother, Robert. Some of hers were, before I married her. In Ancient Rome Lars Porsena sat in his car And made a fuss, Because some people took it for A jitney bus. Overshadowed Friend—Did the little town where you were born honor you for your marvel- ous scientific discoveries when you went back for Old Home Week? Great scientist—No; unfortunately I ar- rived there on the same day on which the butcher's son broke up the ball game with the next town by a home run in the tenth. IMAGINATION Just a Little UST a little sunshine, Just a little rain, Just a little journey O’er the verdant plain. Just a little picnic, Underneath the trees; Just a little skirmish With peevish bumblebees. Just a little nest of Hungry little ants, Biting through the bosom Of my linen pants. Just some little spiders Dancing in the pie; Just a little June bug Buzzing in my eye. Just some little chiggers Gnawing at my legs; Just a little misstep In the soft-boiled eggs. Just a little blister On my sun-scorched neck; Just another picnic, And I'll be a wreck! Tennyson J, Daft. Rain on the Diamonds Madge—Do you think Mr. Phan loves you more than- he does baseball? Maude—I really don't know. Last night he told me that my eyes were like diamonds. Madge—That is a sign of affection. Maude—Then a little later he said that when I cried it made him feel like a postponed game. Q. E. D. “You will excuse me. I never learned geometry."’ “Geometry? Nothing! It’s only the plain truth I'm telling you!"’ “Yes; but you tell it by so many angles that it sounds to me more like plane geometry.”’ comicbooks.com