Judge, 1915-08-14 · page 26 of 28
Judge — August 14, 1915 — page 26: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising and humorous anecdotes**, not political satire. The main content includes: **Advertisements**: Evans' Ale, Burlington watches, Manhattan Beach resort, Allen's Foot-Ease (foot powder), Cortez Cigars, and Leslie's Illustrated Weekly dominate the page. **Humorous Short Jokes** ("Passing the Mustard" section): - A Sunday school teacher explains patience to pupils using a fishing analogy; a child hilariously answers "Bait!" instead of "patience" - A cockney theater-goer suggests the king split his crown three ways as currency - Wordplay about Professor Dobbins knowing about "races"—the audience expects athletic track racing, but he studies ethnology (racial characteristics) **Context for modern readers**: These gentle, pun-based jokes relied on double meanings and innocent misunderstandings. The ethnology reference reflects early-1900s pseudo-scientific race studies, now recognized as discredited. The humor style is family-friendly rather than edgy political commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
of summer 2/ 3 is gone What have you to show renewed health and ¥i To hold what you gained c for what you lack drti id You a enjoy the means as well as the result ‘n Bottles and Splits. All Good Dealers. 0. TE EVANS BONE betahtabed Vi86 HUDSON. N.Y. OA Month OA! master-- jm piece of watch manufacture—adjusted to Second, bositions, tem perature and iaschronists. Encased a} Mie the factory Into your choice of the exquisite new watch cases. F 9 Jewel Prey Burlington men and women, Burlington mi, You set he The great ctaoie request. Pe Poy 08 che rate of £2 io menth.. ¥ Write Today for Free Watch Beek ce secure SAU Watd ‘SWEPT BY OCEAN BREEZES” NEW YORK’S MOST POPULAR AND FASHIONABLE RESORT BY-THE-SEA Temperature seldom varies from 70 degrees. Within the city limits, half hour by train, one hour by auto, Mercadante's Concerts Tenvle Courts Sailing Quttoor, Restaurant Surf Bathiny Garage Deep Sea Fishing Oriental Hotel NOW OPEN EUROPEAN PLAN Dancing every evening in the Ball Room. Dinner Dances Wednesdays and Fridays under personal direction of Mrs. Runnion. Auto roads direct to hotel entrance JOSEPHt P. CREAVES, Manager t Coast Motel Co, 1000 Coney Island ALLEN’S FOOT-EASE DOES IT When your shoes pinch or your corns and bunions ache so that you are tired all over. get Allen's Foot= Ease, the stan- dard remedy for the last 25 years, and shake it into your shoes. It will take the sting out of corns and bunions and give in- stant relief to Tired, Aching, Swollen. Tender feet. Don't go to the California Expositions without a supply of Allen's Foot=Ease. It makes walking adelight. Sold everywhere, 25e, Don't accept any substitut For FREE trial package, address Allen S. Oimsted, LeRoy, Y. | G FoR ; 3 AGARS “MADE AT KEY WEST— United Cigar Stores Company of America Common Stock Dividend No. 11 A regular quarterly dividend of 1744 has this day been de- ¢lared upon each share of Common Stock issned and out- | standing, payable August 16th, 1915, to stockholders of record at the close of business August . The stock-books will not be close GEORGE WATTLEY, Treasurer Dated July gist, 1915, Passing the Mustard What Is Needed—The Sunday school teacher was talking to her pupils on pa- tience. She explained her topic carefully, and, as an aid to understanding, she gave each pupil a card bearing a picture of a boy fishing. ‘Even pleasure,’” exercise of patience. he must sit and wait and wait. be patient.’’ Having treated the subject very fully, she began with the simplest, most practical question, “‘And now, can any little boy tell me what we need most when we go fishing?"’ The answer was quickly shouted with one voice, ‘* Bait !’"—American Boy. she said, ‘‘requires the See the boy fishing; He must A Cockney Suggestion—It was at a thea- ter in Manchester. The king, aged and in- firm, was blessed with two sons. He was pacing up and down the stage, with a wea- ried, troubled look, exclaiming aloud, **On which of these, my sons, shall I be- stow my crown?"’ Immediately came a voice from the gal- lery, “‘Why not ‘arf a crown apiece, guv’- nor?'’—Argonaut. An Interesting Character—‘‘There goes Professor Dobbins, the famous ethnologist **An interesting character, no doubt.’ “*Yes, indeed. Why, he knows more about the races than any other man in this country.’” “*Fancy that! And he doesn’t look as if he had ever been on a track in his life!"’— Birmingham Age- Herald. Of Course—They had just come in from Ni Wot to see the old fashion show. “Gracious, Hiram!"’ said the old lady. “*Them awful society women dress like they was goin’ swimmin’!"’ **O’ course, Jerusha. Hain’t you heard that in the social swim the wimmin try to outstrip each other?''—Field and Farm. No Hardship—Patience—This paper says women will be barred from witnessing box- ing bouts in Wisconsin in the future. Patrice—Sure! Let the women be satis- fied with the fighting at home.— Yonkers Statesman. No News at All I deem the most obnoxious guy I ever met The one who wants to tell you why You lost your bet. —Kansas City Journal. He Reckoned—‘‘ When did your boy Josh pass his examinations?’’ “‘T dunno exactly,’’ replied Farmer Corn- tossel; ‘‘but I reckon it must have been when nobody was lookin’.’’—Washington Star. A Misplaced Hint—Male straphanger— Madam, you are standing on my foot! Female ditto—Beg pardon, sir. I thought it belonged to the man sitting down.—Bos- ton Transcript. Sure Thing—First motorist—Have you seen Smith lately? Second motorist—No; but I'll run across him sooner or later.—Segment Block, Instant Bunion Rel; Prove It At My Expen Don't send me one —j feto you aa I have doce for iy last eix montha. I cisim to haw Oe, fal remedy for bunions ever eae prompuy Is plala scaled en FOOT REM! 3512 West 26th Street Soceng —— ~~ “Innocence Abroag This attractive pictore in all te! loro the origea pale yg Boles: size 839% in. oe Art Mouth 1din. Seat prepaid wees cia 4 Sc. to ietrocace ox are gztalogve of Pictares for we “All winners.” ‘Catalorze alee Celebrity Art Co, STA Colambas Ave, Baten, hy Tikustrated Weekly Newspapers | in iB A Battle in the Sky OT THE least of Lestie’s functions is to broaden Be horizon of the busy man or woman by bringi the ‘news of the world graphically and sively, not by words alone, but also by pictures—that) versal language which tells more at a glance than pags words can describe. Or better Get the current issue at the newssta: send the coupon with 35.00 fora year’ sure of receiving every number prompt ee ——— Leslie's 1 225 Fifth Avenue, New York: 4 Enclosed find $3.00 for which please send Leslies for eae