Judge, 1915-08-14 · page 25 of 28
Judge — August 14, 1915 — page 25: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three brief humorous anecdotes typical of Judge's satirical humor: **"Might Need Them"** mocks religious conversion among gamblers, specifically African American dialect humor. A newly "converted" gambling man resists burning his gambling materials, reasoning he might backslide and need them again—satirizing the shallow nature of sudden religious conversion. **"Most Wonderful"** presents a child's innocent answer to what humanity's greatest achievement is: "Support his family." The joke critiques men's actual performance of this duty, suggesting many fail at this basic obligation. **"Her Vague Views"** ridicules a woman's ignorance about alimony law. She demands fifty dollars weekly alimony from a husband earning only twelve, apparently believing the government subsidizes alimony—mocking both women's legal understanding and the recent trend of alimony awards. The page is otherwise dominated by period advertisements (cigarettes, medical devices, business opportunities), typical for Judge's format.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“put, ye see, we turned that there ‘round, so as to fog those "ere Zeppy- pos r—Pittsburgh Chronicle Telegraph. Them—‘‘After de sarmint, et re prudder Simmons," said old Deacon Whang, ‘‘we-all is gwine to have a rousin’ hozanner meetin’ and burn up yo’ phs, bless de Lawd !"" “Burn up which, sah?"? returned Goat Simmons, the recently converted gambling man, in considerable astonishment. “Yo gamblin’ paragraphs, sah. When a spo'tin’ man gits converted and washed whiter.dan snow, dey allus burns up his kyahds and dice and sich scan’lous stuff as dat, midst loud shouts 0’ praise. De Lawd is wid 'em, and de gamblin’ brudder steps fo'th and flings his paragraphs on de fiah and stands.with bowed head whilst’’—— “Not me, sah! I ain’t gwine to do no sich-uh thing!"" “But, muh goodness, brudder, yo’ am converted, isn’t yo’, and’’ EEE ELE at Pe et Ne “Yassahr! I's sho’ converted, but dat don't_make me a blame’ fool! I mought backslide and need dat stuff !""—Kansas City Star. Most Wonderful—A certain little girl evidently has listened long and earnestly to her mother’s discourses upon the obliga- tions of the husband and father, judging from her answer to her school teacher re- cently. The teacher asked, “What is the most wonderful thing man has done?"” Mary’s hand shot up instantly. The teacher smiled, nodded to the child and leaned back expectantly. * “Support his family,"’ piped Mary, in her shrillest voice.—Louisville Times. Her Vague Views—‘‘I asked for alimony of fifty a week. I see wimmen are getting that right along.’’ “But, madam,’’ expostulated the lawyer, ir husband is earning only twelve."’ “What's that got todowith it? I thought the government provided the alimony."’— Kansas City Journal. Judge VoL LXIX August 14, 1915 No. 1765 Copyright 1915, by Leslie-Judge Company. Estered at the Post-olfice at New York as second-class mail matter. Cable address, “Judgark."" Telephone 6632 Madison Square. Poblished weekly by Leslie-Judge Company, Broaswick Building, 225 Fifth Avenue, New York. Washington Representative Wyatt Building, Washington, D.C. Toba A, Steicher, President. Reuben P. Sleicher, Sec'y. A. E. Rollaver. Treasurer. Grant E, Hamilton, Art Director. J. A. Waldron, Editor. SUBSCRIPTION RATES: Qne year, or 52 be: - fe Six months, or 26 oumbers - 2 - 53-96 P, irteen weeks “ee 1.25 favable in advance by draft on New York, or by express The coatests of JUDGE ave pest rats of are protected by copyright in Seth the Unites Sates Sag Sear Bete ICJUDGE cannot be lishers will be under ob! borted on postal BACK Ni BERS, ° re Weents; 1 . 29 cents, et: found at any news stand, the pub- ns if that fact be promptly re- er. nt year, 10 cents per copy; 1914, free in the United States. its dependencies. and Metico. To Canadian Provinces add Socentea year for post- 88; to all foreign countries add $1.00 a year, net ding, Ch NEW ENGL AND. ADW LAND ADVERTISE Tremont Building ~ ,ared Eqyplian Ggevetice the World z r = STOP: A. MINUTE READ DROP THE DEAD ONES. “AWAKE! START WITH THIS NEW INVENTION. -THE 20th CENTURY WONDER. p | Get started: in an.honest,.clean, gellable, permanent. money-making “be ny 8 money-back guarantee. The Blackstone Watér ‘Powge Vacuum Massage Machine Vor:the tom e. Lasts Life-Theve. Rasiwren, Price within reach of all AGENTS GENERAL AGENTS ROAD MEN MAKE MONEY HERE START NOW—TODAY | AGENTS SALESMAN econ Read On! What Others Parkers writes, #0! The ONLY perfect, non-leahahle Sizes— lok peneits at moderate 414 and 6/4 ins tices, $ Extra Size—8 inches kate’ (black only) $1.25, Cod FREE=liberal supply of ink with retail orders. Agents Wanted. Big Profits. J. J. ULLRICH & CO., 27 Thames St.. New York Write Moving Picture Plays $10.90 10 £100.00, Constant Semand Dersis fi eoare te, ATLAS PUNLISHING CO “440 Alias Building "Cincinnati, Chto, Shirt Down Socks Up PRESS CUTTING BUREAU wilt Ha you all newspaper clippings hh may appear about you, your J,0F any subject on which you paper and perlodical searched. Terms, Seventh Ave... ¥, may want to be “up to date. fmportance in tbe United St . HENRY <. FOR LIQUOR AND DRUG USERS Ascientific treatment by specialists in authorized Keeley Institutes only. FOR INFORMATION WRITE TO 122-35 Ottawa Ave, 8. comicbooks.com