Judge, 1915-07-24 · page 9 of 28
Judge — July 24, 1915 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains four separate humorous pieces typical of early 20th-century satirical magazines: **"Enid"** mocks the disparity between romantic idealization and marital reality. A poem describes a woman's luxurious appearance and delicate furnishings, building romantic anticipation—until the reveal: her husband crushes her carefully arranged appearance because he "has to foot the bills," asserting husbandly rights over aesthetic concerns. The satire targets both sentimental romanticism and marital power dynamics. **"Shrewd Dentist"** jokes darkly about professional opportunism: a wealthy dentist eats at restaurants during blackberry pie season specifically to identify customers with bad teeth needing expensive dental work. **"Bare Possibility"** plays on domestic anxiety: a husband wants to leave for the theater, but the wife refuses because she's worried a burglar might break in—to an already messy house. The joke targets household vanity as absurdly prioritized over practical security. **"Semper Idem"** offers sentimental poetry about a rose rejecting a nightingale's song until hearing it at dusk, then welcoming him—satirizing fickleness and inconsistency. The bottom cartoon about "soft cushions" suggests salesmen should appeal to wives' comfort preferences rather than husbands' purchasing decisions.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
URQUOISE blue are Enid's slippers, Satin sheen’d and pearl inset. Did she step upon the greensward, Enid’s feet must needs get wet. But her boudoir walls are damp-proof; Velvet rugs caress her feet. (Enid’s feet upon the fender! Blue forget-me-nots less sweet!) But the blue, blue eyes of Enid, And the carmine of her mouth! Fragrant, shimm’ry, zanthic tresses, And a breath of rose-blown South! Sheerest petticoats wears Enid, Flounced and ribbon'd in and out. Ah, that silken, soft kimono That wraps Enid roundabout! At her door I pause, reluctant. Am I bold thus to intrude? Dare I knock upon its carving? Will fair Enid think me rude? Enid starts from out her musings, Knits her forehead in a frown, Taps one wee, bejeweled slipper On the rug most firmly down. Then she rises—to embrace me! Ruthlessly I crush her frills. Thave rights (I’m Enid’s husband)— For I have to foot the bills! —D. Undine Baker, Shrewd Dentist Rankin—Isn't: that Dr. Diggendelve, the wealthy dentist? Phyle—Yes, Rankin—1 wonder why he is eating his meals in this restaurant? Phyle—He always patronizes the restau- rants during the blackberry pie season, so he can pick out the people whose teeth need filling. Bare Possibility Mr. Umson—Hurry, Mary, or we'll be late for the play. His wife—But I can't leave the house mussed up like this. Mr. Umson—+Who is going to see it while we are away? His wife—It’s hard to tell; might break in. a burglar Semper Idem HE ROSE said, ‘*Stupid nightingale! I care not what excuse he brings— He's idling with the lily, and I shall not listen when he sings!"" But when the dusk fell softly down, And one clear note rang through the dew, An eager little rose cried out, “Oh, nightingale, I'm glad it’s you!” Charlotte Becker. WHERE THEY WERE MOST NEEDED Astute manager (to salesman) —Don’t waste your time talking ‘‘ soft cushions"’ tohim! Tell his wife about ‘em! comicbooks.com