Judge, 1915-07-17 · page 9 of 28
Judge — July 17, 1915 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate satirical pieces: **"Unstrung"** (left): A humorous poem mocking unsuccessful fishing expeditions, written in pseudo-archaic style mimicking Izaak Walton's famous fishing treatise. Two friends spend all day fishing without success, with the punchline that "the fishe are stringing us"—a play on waiting in vain. **"Proverbs à la Bostonese"** (center): Satire of Boston intellectualism, presenting common sayings (like "when the cat's away, the mice will play") in deliberately overwrought, pretentious language. The joke mocks Bostonians' tendency toward verbose, affected speech. **"To All My Loves"** and **"Poor Business"** (right): Brief verses. The first is romantic mockery—a poet admitting his beautiful descriptions are pure fiction he profits from. The second mocks men who overestimate their abilities, predicting economic decline for those who think themselves above their work. The page's central image shows silhouetted figures against photographic backgrounds, with instructions to "INSERT YOUR FAVORITE BACKGROUND"—likely an advertising or reader-participation element common to Judge.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
- ts =P Dvornscn- ——s Unstrung HANNE doth our Izaak Walton wishe Devotly for a stringe of fishe, He setteth ye alarum clock, At 5 hys friendes door to knock, Forth fare ye twain, to ketch a stringe Of speckled beauties, hoame to bringe! Till noone they fishe— till night they waite— Consumed is all ye bot- tled baite. they fish ye They whippe ye streame, brooke, But inne they never get a looke. A line they droppe, to two or three; Odzooks, there’s no R. S. V. P. Now Izaak’s friende play: “Methinks no stringe we get this day!"” And Izaak now ye lucke doth cuss: “Methinks ye fishe are stringing us!"’ —Albert E. Hoyt his wrath gives Proverbs a la Bostonese F UPON the initiative attempt success eludes your efforts, repeat the opera- tion ad infinitum. It is an exceedingly lengthy byway that fails to produce some tangible evi- dence to prove that its natural tendencies point to an apparent longing to execute a right angle. When the household feline has tempo- rarily vacated the premises, the small ro- dents will undoubtedly take advantage of her absence to participate in unseemly gambols commensurate with the joyous oc- casion. The operation of convoying a beast of burden in the general direction of the trough containing aqua distilla may prove to be one of comparative ease, but the proc- ess of inducing the quadruped to partake of the contents thereof is often a matter of conjecture, to be determined only by the avowed inclination of the animal in ques- tion. To All My Loves HE FACE as fair as morning dawn Is but a baseless, dream-wrought fancy; The wondrous charms my pen has drawn Are all illusion’s necromancy. Such loveliness was ne'er on earth; ‘Such beauty lives but in the seeming. Poetic vision is its birth— Rhapsodic myths, fantastic dreaming. Yet you are life itself to me— For which, dear hearts, my thanks are many; As now, your beauties are the key Whereby I turn an honest penny! —A. Burstein, Poor Business ‘*He says he intends to be the architect of his own fortune.’"’ A “I predict a terrible stagnation in the building line.”” Some men think they have reached the top when they feel above their job.