Judge, 1915-07-17 · page 8 of 28
Judge — July 17, 1915 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* contains three separate humorous pieces typical of early 20th-century American satire: **"A Woman's Magic"**: A poem mocking the supposed mystical ability of mothers/wives to pack luggage. The narrator believes his suitcase is completely full until his mother arrives and somehow miraculously fits triple the contents. The satire targets male helplessness and female domestic cleverness—a common gender stereotype of the era. **"His Achievement"**: A brief anecdote about a man whose poetry recitation habit ironically causes him to lose his job (chronic lateness), but now unemployed, he has unlimited time for his hobby. The joke satirizes self-deception and the impracticality of intellectual pursuits over work obligations. **"Self-Sustaining" and "Eclipsed"**: Micro-jokes; the final panel shows Sunday school children discussing what happens to dead cats—with dark humor suggesting they become mink coats, satirizing both childhood innocence and women's fashion. The cartoon of the alligator pear (avocado) is a visual pun on "pair."
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
MMER A Woman's Magic THOUGHT I had that suitcase packed, till mother came along; I'd ‘‘put in everything ‘twould hold’’—I stood out for it strong. The upper part would just go down, the hasp would barely catch; To put another necktie in would surely burst the latch. She looked at what I'd bravely done, then glanced at what was left, Then looked again at me, as if of sense I was be- reft. She heaved a loud, resignful sigh, sank down upon her knees, And put in all that overflow with suddenness and ease. don't know how the stunt was done; I don't know what was wrong— I'd simply thought that thing was packed, until she came along. SPEAKING OP SALAD, HERE IS A LOVELY ALLI- GATOR PEAR (PAIR) Into that suitcase crammed and jammed she put three other coats, Two shoes (on trees), a toilet set, her two new redingotes, A powder box, a curling tongs, two pairs of flannel pants, My brand-new pumps (‘‘For,’’ she explained, ‘‘we may be asked to dance’’). She put in handkerchiefs and hose (‘'To hold things tight,’ she said), Then sank back on her weary heels and gravely shook her head. “I'm still afraid ‘twill slide around and make things just a mess— I'll have to dump this out and use a smaller bag, I guess.'’ All this, now mind (if you've a wife you'll know I am not wrong), When I had thought that suitcase packed, before she came along! Strickland Gillilan. His Achievement 6 IR QUITE a while my nephew, Porteous J. Gump, refreshed himself each morning and fortified his system against the day's trials by reciting a bit of poetry,’ a trifle mordaciously stated Uncle Timrod Tarpy. ‘‘It was always an elevating stanza, which cheered without greatly inebriating him; something about his soul being loosed like a bird set free to dip its wings in the waves of the sea, and all such. He also had dyspepsia, and ’most MUSIC everything he ett, which was generally a few flakes of breakfast food or something equally as noncommittal, distressed him dread. fully, in spite of the fact that he chewed each mouthful sixty. seven times. He thought the poetry helped his digestion, though, **Anyhow, between the two he was so often late at the office of the lumber company which employed him that he eventually lost his job. So now he has plenty of time to recite a whole poem at each session instead of a mere stanza, and chew each mouthful twice as many times as before."” Eclipsed “The light seems to have gone out of his life."” **Just so. He overheard Miss Charmer say that he couldn't hold a candle to her other suitors."" Self-Sustaining “‘Are you married?"’ asked Colonel White of an applicant for employment. **Naw, sah, boss!’’ was the reply. ‘‘I makes muh own livin’.” Sunday-school teacher—Now, children, what becomes of good little cats when they die? ‘ Head kitten—Please, ma'am, they are made into beaytiful mink boas. comichooks.celm