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Judge, 1915-06-12 · page 12 of 24

Judge — June 12, 1915 — page 12: what you’re looking at

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Judge — June 12, 1915 — page 12: Judge, 1915-06-12

What you’re looking at

This page contains a short story with romantic and comedic elements typical of early 20th-century Judge magazine humor. **The Main Story:** Cora attends a horse race where three men (Jack, Harry, and Berry Hall) each propose conditional marriages to her—if they win their bets. Jack bets on his own horse Mercury; Harry bets against him on Dynamite; Berry bets on a long-shot called Comedian. The joke is that Cora has casually accepted engagement conditions from all three men. Unexpectedly, Comedian wins, so Berry Hall gets the prize—Cora's agreement to dinner and dancing. **The Satire:** This mocks both women's perceived fickleness and men's overconfidence in gambling. The humor lies in how easily these suitors think money and romance are interchangeable, and how Cora plays them all without commitment. **The Small Comics Below:** Include unrelated brief jokes about the "Charlie Chaplin Walk" (referencing the famous comedian's distinctive gait) and a pun about "new shoe-shining styles." The overall tone reflects period attitudes toward courtship and gender roles now considered outdated.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Both of you'll excuse me, I hope, Cora, ‘‘I've a dance date. Her smile still carzied to both. “Would we care to know with whom she is going to dance?" grinned Harry at Jack. “We certainly should, ’’ said Jack. **Nobody. Thatis, I'm just going to learn some- thing new—the Charlie Chaplin Walk."* A miracle for grace, “T've seen it. said Harry. “Yes,"' put in Jack. novelty will be the Kangaroo Limp. **T suppose the next And Cora, still smiling impartially, left them. Jack and Harry had nothing to talk about and parted. Society monopolized the Willowdale races on the opening day. Jack, who had been busy in the paddock, ranged about a bit be- fore dressing for the stake event, in hope of glimpsing Cora. He discovered her with Harry, who was just leaving her for a brief excursion to the mysterious precincts where money might be risked “If Twin this race said Jack, *‘will you go to dinner with me?’’ He was nervous, “Why not?’ replied Cora. “And then—ah—but I must know now, dear girl! If I win, will you marry me? “Why, Jack!"’ She thought a moment. “T'll become engaged—if you win. Will that satisfy you?" Minnie—Dick. do take your arm away Dick—I don’t think there is the slightest shadow of doubt about it. “Yes,"" he replied. The bustle of the track as minor races were run and the changing moods of the crowd didn’t interest Cora. She liked both Jack and Harry, and she could marry but one of them —at present. Harry came back smiling. The bugle sounded for the stake event, and Jack swept down the track on Mer- cury toward the starting post. **Doesn’t he look lovely?"’ exclaimed Cora. ‘‘See how splendidly he rides!"" “But I like Billy Swift on Dynamite, the favorite, better," said Harry. ‘'In fact, I've bet a thousand on Dynamite."’ ‘Against Jack? How could you?"* Cora was inclined to pout. “Just my judgment, you know. If I win, will you go to dinner with me?"* Jack and Harry couldn't both ““Why—yes, of course."” And will you consider seri- ously the question I asked you a few minutes ago?” “I'M think about i sorely pressed. The starter was trying them out. Harry was all excitement. ‘Excuse me a mo- ment,"’ he said, rushing away. He wanted to get another thousand down on Dynamite Cora was indeed I think mother is coming His avife—There you are, Henry play golf I could show you how to get out of there now. If you had taught me to if possible. The crowd was in a frenzy, and Cora was in a fever. **Hello!’? Somebody took her arm. It was Berry Hall. “Why, Berry, why are you so excited?” **Must be because I've found you here. I've a lot of money on a dark horse, and my Renault is down in the park. Come to dinner with me if I win—come whether I win or not—and afterward we'll dance, eh?"* “Oh Cora smiled at him. ‘*But how is the race going?” “Hil Hil’ cried Berry, swinging his hat in exultation. The horses were plunging down the home stretch. Dynamite and Mercury were in the ruck. “Come on, Comedian!" cried Berry. And Comedian, a rank outsider, was the winner by a head. The Kickers The devil always finds some work The idle hands to greet, And then with equal ease he find: Some work for idle feet. Folly by the Foot “There's one o’ them dern new styles,"’ said Sil “What is it?" asked Mandy, lowering her eyes. “Why, that there sign says, ‘Shoes shined inside.’ "”