Judge — May 22, 1915 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

= m Ps Stories with Smiles Made No Difference—During the recent ing season a beloved brother from a big city borrowed a gun and went in quest of wild ducks. He was successful beyond his wildest imagination, for he hadn’t been rowing up the stream more than three hours before he came upon a beautiful flock feed- ing in a little cove. Instantly the city man’s gun went to his shoulder. “Hey, there, ye consarned rabbit !"" came the expostulating voice of Uncle Josh. “What in the thunderation are ye tryin’ ter am shooting wild ducks,'’ answered thecity man, in acautious whisper. ‘Don’t come any nearer, or you'll scare"’. “Them ain't wild ducks!'’ was the exer- cised rejoinder of the farmer. ‘‘Them's tame ducks!"* “That's all right, old fellow,’ returned the city man. ‘‘My wife won't know the difference.""—Philadelphia Telegraph. Information Wanted—It was the mayor of a Western city who received the follow- ing inquiry from an Eastern resident: “Kind and respected Cir: I seein a paper that a man named John Sipes was atacted and et up by a bare whose cubs he was try- ing to git when the she bare came up and stopt him by eating him up in the moun- tains near your town. What I want to know is did it kill him or was he only partly et up and is he from this place and all about the bare! I don't know but what he isa distant husband of mine. My first husband was of that name and I supposed he was killed in the war and the name of the man the bare et being the same I thought it might be him after all and I ought to know itif he wasn’t killed either in the war or by the bare for I have been married twice since and there ought to be divorce papers got out by him and me. He sings base and has a spread eagle tatoed on his front chest and a ankor on his right arm which you will know him by if the bare did not eat up these sines of its being him. If alive don’t tell him Iam married to Joe White for he never liked Joe. Mebbe you'd better let on asiflamded. That is if the bare did not eathim all up. If it did I don’t see as you can do anything and you needn't take no trouble. Please ancer back. “P.S.—Was the bare killed. Also was he married again and did he leave any Property wuth me laying claim to.""—Ar- gonaut, Her Amendment—''The greeting, ‘How are you?’ doesn’t seem to me to represent any sincere and sensible inquiry,’ re- marked the man who thinks hard about trifles, “That is true,"’ replied Miss Cayenne. “When I meet several people I know, I am always tempted to say ‘why’ instead of ‘how.’ "Washington Star. Cause and Effect—Mrs. Newedd (com- Plainingly)—When we go anywhere now, we have to take the old street car. Before our marriage, you always called a taxi. Newedd—Yes; that's the reason we have to take a street car now.—Boston Transcript. Too Honest—‘‘ Why did Blinks fail in his to business?"* “Asked his customers the first thing Whether they wanted photographs or like- hesses."’— Philadelphia Ledger. EGYPTIAN DEITIES poss Germann PREFER Deities “f TIAN ochre larzling Lachnite Gem. iernal—they stand fire ani Cont bat At Special Price The Author's National Edition in twenty-five volumes is offered at $1.00 wolume and you pay $2.00 monthly, a je sacrit edition by accepting y. We produced the for the money. best set possible TAKE Mark Twain into your houschold and edopt him. Let us send you a set in the HARPER WAY: All charges prepaid. Examine the books ten days—if you de not like them, send them back at our expense. If you keep them, $2.00 monthly." Harper's Magazine * or. The North American Review” will also be sent for one year. Just give us your name and address on t foypen ‘below and the books will be sent for you to ge. Harper & Brothers, New York HARPER & BROTHERS, Franklin Square, New York City. Send me. Te Hawrer Way, carriage free, a set of MARK Twain's Works, twenty-five volumes, loth, and enter my name for one year to HARPER'S MAGAZINE. I may retain the set for ten days. and at the expiration of that time, if T do not care for the books, I will return them at your expense. and you will cancel the subscrip tion to the Macazixe. If [keep the books, I will remit $2.00 a month until the full price of the books and the MacaziNe, $25.00, has been paid. Reason Is Simple VERY one who has a set of MARK TWAIN'S WORKS would not, under any circumstances, part with any of the books. He is immediately taken into the household and made an honored and cherished member of it. Is there another writer of this or all time, who is so eagerly “adopted” by the family without a dissenting voice raised against him by the family council? What other author has such a universal appeal? Mark Twain, truly, is the one writer whose work: peal to father, mother, son, and daug! matter what age. He is“ Your Mark Twain moment. you have him in your library —he is “Your ke Twain” the instant you read one of his books. No wonder then it?is the ambition of every American to own a uniform set of his writings. Through his books Judge 5-22-15 Signature... HE is your friend—the best of friends—the most versatile of friends. He is the greatest humorist of all time, the great boy's writer, the interesting traveler, the master of description, the great essayist, the foremost American writer. Send books to. Tue Nowtu Asesican Review may be substituted for Hapres’s: MAGAZINE. comicbooks.com