Judge, 1915-05-01 · page 12 of 24
Judge — May 1, 1915 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **Main Story ("A Lawsuit")**: A domestic drama about Mr. Grimesby, a wealthy man who married a former dancer and isolated her socially. His jealousy erupts when she dances with Hugh Delbeigh at a dinner party—she reveals Delbeigh once proposed but she rejected him because he lacked money. The satire targets social climbing and the superficiality of wealthy marriages built on financial rather than emotional foundations. **"Impartial"**: A poem mocking a woman's outfit composed of fashions from various warring nations (Russian, German, Japanese, English, etc.), claiming she demonstrates "strict neutrality" through her costume. This appears to reference WWI-era debates about American neutrality and commercialism. **Other Brief Jokes**: "Quite a Help" jokes about theater seats; "Newly Married" satirizes a husband's pretentious behavior after marriage. The overall theme: satirizing wealth, social pretension, marital dynamics, and wartime neutrality through humor accessible to Judge's educated, affluent readership.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
te AN a e.O works. He would stay in town and rest parts of days and evenings. He developed the theater habit. The life under white lights fascinated him, for it was new. He became infatuated with a young dancer. He married her in haste. Her candor at moments amazed him, but he thought that by isolating her at Island- haven he might live happily ever after. Mrs. Grimesby, abandoning her danc- ing, was lonely at Islandhaven, in spite of the reasonably faithful attendance of a fond husband. The persons thereabouts didn't know the Grimesbys and showed no desire to become acquainted. Grimesby was importuned to start something. Mrs. Grimesby suggested the dinner dance, and that explained why Hugh Delbeigh was there. Grimesby watched Delbeigh and his wife in their apparent enjoyment, his face taking on something of austerity. He was disappointed in the party, which he thought should have been larger. But Mrs. Grimesby had done her best. She had the finest limousine in the neighborhood. In this she had visited vari- ous persons who geographically were neigh- bors, wearing a stunning gown and the dia- monds Grimesby had showered upon her, with a few precious sprinklings of her danc- ing days. It was an unconventional way to distribute invitations. All of her calls were greeted with curiosity. Curiosity, however, may be indulged in without implying obli- gation. Mrs. Garaway—who had said her husband might not come with her—and the Jigbys, who themselves were not averse to expanding their social horizon, were the only ones to appear. Dinner waited, yet Delbeigh and Mrs. Grimesby danced. They seemed oblivious of environment. Finally the music stopped, and Grimesby, who had stopped it, led them in to the repast. The party broke up early. “You acted to-night as though you and A LAWSUIT Gul sez HELP W Delbeigh were old friends,” said Grimesby to his wife when they were alone. **Yes?"* "Yes, though you were love: his look were acidulous. ‘*He wanted me to marry him once."’ “Well, why didn’t you marry him?’’ “Why should I have married him? Delbeigh is the most perfect of men but for one quite important detail."’ “*And what is that?’* “*Money."’ Quite a Help Mr, Motormad (glancing at the occu- pants of the Metropolitan boxes at an evening performance)—I wish I had shock absorbers on to-night! More than that, you acted as "' His tone and Impartial ‘R SUIT'S a Russian blouse affair, In color Prussian blue; Her hose are one resplendent glare Of London purple hue. A nifty German submarin She wears upon her head, With foliage of Paris green And buds of Turkey red. Her shirt waist is of filmy stuff, Suggestive of Japan; Around her neck she wears a ruff Of ancient English plan. The tume may not match, I know, Nor make for harmony; The maiden merely means to show Her strict neutrality.—1V. Kee Masirell. THE BASEBALL REFLECTING MIRROR PATENT APPLIFD FOR Newly Married Bilton—What is the reason for Jinks’s sudden pseudo-pompous, dignified manner? Tilton—He recently married, and he's trying to live up to his wife’s opinion of him. His Reason “What makes him act so queerly?"” *‘He wants people to understand that he is the first person singular !"" SOME ROUGH PLAYMATES ON THE ROAD TO KNOWLEDGE