Judge, 1915-05-01 · page 11 of 24
Judge — May 1, 1915 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a story illustration from *Judge*, a satirical magazine. The narrative concerns marital infidelity and social pretense among the wealthy. The plot involves Mrs. Garaway complaining to friends that her husband Jack didn't come home, then disappeared into multiple alibis—his male friends each claimed he was with them at different locations. The joke is on male solidarity: "How you men do hang together!" The subplot features Hugh Delbeigh, a socially desirable but financially modest man, dancing with Mrs. Grimesby. Grimesby, a wealthy businessman past romance, invited Delbeigh to gain social standing. Grimesby's doctor prescribed rest from business, but he fears professional ruin if he stops working. The satire targets upper-class hypocrisy: husbands lying about whereabouts, men protecting each other's secrets, and social climbing through association. The "almost perfect lover" likely refers to Delbeigh's desirability masking his actual emptiness.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AN ALMOST PERFECT By J. A. LOVER WALDRON “M’ HUSBAND, you know,’’ said Mrs. Garaway to the Jigbys, who sat with her presumably watching Hugh Delbeigh and Mrs. Grimesby fox trot, lulufado and describe the French tango by turns, ‘‘is a very slippery proposition."” **Do you think she will send Delbeigh a bill for the privilege of dancing with her?"’ asked Mrs. Jigby, at the moment uninter- ested in the ev. character of Garaway. ‘‘I heard yesterday that Mademoiselle Palace, the famous dancer, invited to figure at a house party the other day, sent a bill foi twenty-five dollars to every man she danced with." ‘“‘But what were you going to say about your husband, Mrs. Garaway?"’ asked Jigby, who hadn't been married long, and who was just beginning to want to learn fine points as to a husband's detached privileges. ‘‘You shouldn't interrupt, dear,"’ he added to Mrs. Jigby, who for reply hummed an accompaniment to the music. “Why,’’ continued Mrs. Garaway, ‘‘Jack didn’t come home last night and didn’t send any word. This morning I "phoned Charley Gardner, one of his chums, asking him if he kad seen Jack. ‘Yes,’ he replied; ‘we had dinner at the club together, and he didn’t feel well and stayed with me.’ And then, just out of curiosity, I ‘phoned three other fellows I know Jack runs with, and each of them gave me a different story. Jack appears to have been in four different places at once, engaged in different things. How you men do hang together!"’ Hugh Delbeigh was the most desirable party present from a social viewpoint. He hadn't exactly understood why Grimesby had invited him to a week-end at Islandhaven. They had met oc- casionally at clubs. Grimesby had been in search of social tone, which Delbeigh, of a fine but rather straitened family, was really quite willing to furnish. Grimesby, past the age of romance, had fairly dived into it. “You are worked out.’’ his physician had said to him a few “You must rest and recuperate."” Grimesby had started to protest. “Well, business will drop you unless you drop busine: the reply; and Grimesby, who had loved and lived with business all his , was frightened. But he would not travel far from the comicbooks.com