Judge — April 3, 1915 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Easter Horticulturist | D eats Y Pansy comes arrayed In filament of filigree, To join the Easter Day parade And thrill the heart of me. Sedately Myrtle steps along With measured paces on her way. Oh, fair one of this Easter throng! Would I were not so gray! Delightfully Miss Daisy trips With mincing steps among the train. With flashing eyes and cherry lips, She addles uncle's brain. Comes Lily, she so cool and tall, With form that anchorites adore; She sways adown the crowded mall. Would I were twenty-four! Next, charming Rose withtwinkling eyes, She blossoms in this flower bed; She glads this Easter paradise And turns your uncle's head. Shyly Miss Violet so sweet— Her orbs, they rival heaven's hue— Makes music with her dainty feet Along the avenue. A garland of sweet flowers, they— All lady slippers, I declare, Out gunning this rare Easter Day For bach’ lor buttons there. —H. S, Keller, Environment Mrs. B. Rewster—Why do they call him a gay old bird? M). B. Rewster—Because he is always surrounded by chickens and cocktails. The Same Result “How long have they been married?" “About five years.’” “Did she make him a good wife?”’ “‘No; but she made him an awfully good husband.’"’ A = MB Fe B® gy 2 Lliilos Spade. OF EL. ate Fy THE LAST WORD IN EASTER HATS—WHY NOT? Hello! It brightened the whole day for us. We had read it in one of George Ade’s First Aids to Inadequate English, but it did not have the charm of the spoken word. She was well dressed, bright and viva- She bounced into a street car and recognized an elderly lady. cious. She pranced THE GOLFER'S PREDICAMENT The ball falls in front of the beehive. up with all the grace possible when the track is wet and the motorman impulsive. Then she said it. “*Good-morning, Mrs. Wilson! suppose you know whom I am.’” In Self-Defense Mrs. Crabshaw —That woman next door is going to the theater to-night. Crabshaw—Then I suppose we'll have to go, too, for their dog will be barking the whole evening. I don’t % The Fitness of Things 6“ MATTER that has given me con- siderable concern, during my more or less eventful sojourn in this vale of tears,"’ acknowledged Jasper Knox, the sage of Piketown-on-the-Blink, ‘‘is the fact that the great majority of otherwise sensible people fall down most lamentably when they attempt to dope out the true cause for their own failure to make good. Far be it from my intention to deliver a sermon upon this most im- portant subject, but past experience has taught me that one of the main reasons why we all are not successful lies in the fact that we are prone to sidestep opportunity in order to shake hands with temptation."’ To the Married Man As Easter comes around, old boy, Just bet your life upon it, That you will know but little joy Unless she has that bonnet. The Limit “She's crazy to get into the upper ten, isn’t she?’’ “Crazy? Why, she'd even reserve it on a sleeper!"" Postal Facilities ‘Look in them pigeonholes and see if you've got a pound of but- ter for me, Hiram."" “*Butter?"' echoed the postmaster. ‘*That wouldn’t be among them pigeonholes. I keep all that mail in the ice box.’’ All in the Game Crabshaw—I've no objection to your get- ting married, my dear; but I really can't stand the expense of a wedding. Marjoric—I'll try to help you out, papa. Perhaps I can throw a scare into George and get him to propose an elopement. comicbooks.com