Judge, 1915-03-06 · page 5 of 24
Judge — March 6, 1915 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page features a short story titled "No Testimonial Given" by Terrell Love Holliday, illustrated with sketches. The narrative focuses on marital discord between characters named Higby and Jaxman, contrasting their perspectives on marriage. The story's humor derives from domestic tension: Higby complains that marriage has disrupted his sleep, while Jaxman defends matrimony as a "best little sleeping powder on the market." The central joke appears to be satirizing how marriage affects men's rest and comfort. The accompanying sketch shows a man in a hat speaking with a woman, with the caption "Gracious! you're soaked. Is it raining?" / "I didn't lock," suggesting domestic miscommunication or the wife's forgetfulness. The overall satire mocks early 20th-century married life anxieties, specifically how matrimony conflicts with bachelor comfort.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“WATCH YOUR STEP!" N O T E S§ FTER their six o’clock dinner Higby, the host, and Jaxman, who was down for the week-end, went to the billiard-room. At eight Higby was yawning behind his hand. By nine he was walking in his sleep. “*Egad!"" said Jaxman dryly, as he puthiscue inthe rack. ‘‘You became domesticated in a hurry, didn’t you?” “I don’t know what is the matter with me to-night,"’ apologized Higby, trying to suppress another yawn, “You have been kept up beyond your usual bedtime,’’ declared Jax- man. ‘‘When there's no company, T'll wager you curl up on the hearth rug and go to sleep as soon as you've had your dinner.’* Higby grinned sheepishly. Dozing behind his paper in a chair was not very different from that. “I can remember the period,"’ mused Jaxman, ‘‘when you com- plained because daylight always broke up the revels before you got sleepy."” T I A HOLLIDAY I M TERRELL “The sting of ahilarious night,’ reflected Higby, ‘‘lies in the tailend of it. You can get by with lots of things in the dark. But when daylight comes, you can no longer fool yourself about how rotten you feel.”” O N By LOVE “Gracious! you're soaked. Is it raining?" “* T didn’t look."” G VE N L ‘‘Hear, hear!"’ jeered Jaxman. ‘‘And you've been married just three months. If I thought that matrimony would have such a soporific effect on me, I'd shut my eyes, hold my nose and take a dose of it. Noth- ing else seems to help this confounded insomnia of mine.’’ “*Marriage is the best little sleeping powder on the market,” chuckled Hig- by, ‘‘and it’s easy and pleasant to take. You must remember, however, that it doesn’t come with a money- back-if-it-fails-to-cure guarantee.’" Just then pretty Mrs. Higby came in, and the utter peace and content- ment visible in the sleepy eyes of her husband irritated Jaxman so that he went to his room presently. At two o'clock Jaxman sat up in bed with a smothered exclamation that should never be used in a Sunday paper. “There are 8,767,546,385 sheep in the world,’’ he bitterly announced. “I've counted them jumping over a comicbooks.com