Judge, 1915-02-20 · page 14 of 24
Judge — February 20, 1915 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from the satirical magazine *Judge* contains several humorous short pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **Main Cartoon:** Shows a gardener and Mrs. Neurich discussing garden beds. The joke is a pun on botanical names: she proposes "salivas" (salvia plants), and he suggests a border of "spittoonias"—a fabricated plant name that sounds like "spittoons" (the brass receptacles for tobacco spit, common in that era). The humor relies on mocking her pretentious mispronunciation while suggesting an embarrassingly crude alternative. **Other Content:** The remaining pieces are humorous prose and poetry, not political satire. "Always the Same" jokes about a difficult marriage; "His Question" mocks bores and misanthropes; "Winter Sports" is a poem about romantic entanglements during seasonal activities; and "Tool or Talisman?" plays on superstition about lucky charms. The page represents *Judge's* lighthearted domestic and social humor rather than hard political commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Wes | (so Arruve E Danesen Mrs, Neurich (who wants a garden)—I would like a bed of salivas in the center, John. Wouldn't that be nice? Gardener—Yes, mum, if you have a border of spittoonias. The Luncheon IRST let the napery be fine, The glasses gleam, the silver shine! No flowers; your eyes and cheeks will be Blossoms enough to pleasure me! Bring, then, without a hint of haste, Amontillado to our taste! And next a soup, white as a dream; Asparagus, we'll say, and cream! Then (as the menu card displays) A filet mignon, bordelaise! (Somehow this dropping into French Gives my orthoepy a wrench!) A salad following, crisp and cool, With cress from out a woodland pool! Coffee, of course, and last a cruse Of sunny amber called Chartreuse ! And hovering about, above, The imminence of the wings of Love! Clinton Always the Same “*She was all the rage when he her."* **And she has lost no chance to storm at him ever since."’ married His Question 6¢QEVEN men out of every ten are con- founded bores!’ emphatically de clared Alexander Akinside, the dyspeptic dissertationist. “Why except the other three?"’ snarled J. Fuiler Gloom, the widely known and cordially detested misanthrope. Proof Little Robert—Ma, was Robinson Crusoe an acrobat? Mother—I don't know. Why? Little Robert—Well, here it reads that after he had finished his day’s wor! down on his chest. His Action “Ah, squire!’’ saluted the village bore. ‘What are you doing for your rheumatism these da: “Examining the doctors one after an other,"’ snarled the old codger, *‘to see how much they don't know!"" Winter Sports I D to go sliding with Mazie, Adown the steep hill long ago; I also went gliding with Daisy, Upon the old millpond below. On snowshoes I tottered with Cindy— ‘Twas then that she gave me the mitt, Because I had pottered with Lindy At skiing; it tingled a bit. I drove to the dances with Dora— She snubbed me upon the way back: Because of the glances of Cora, Refused me the usual smack. But now I am sitting with Hannah, Here in the warm firelight glow. She's knitting—I'm thinking of Anna, Whose yarn [ held long, lon; 4 an ‘Se Tool or Talisman? Mary Pert—Thank goodness, I have a perfect complexion! Kitty Katt—But you carry a haresfoot just for luck ?