Judge, 1915-02-13 · page 8 of 24
Judge — February 13, 1915 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical pieces typical of Judge's early 20th-century humor: **Main Cartoon (top)**: A newlywed groom appears distressed, prompting the caption about marriage being like a minefield—a common era joke about matrimony as dangerous/unpredictable. **"Senatorial Erudition"**: Mocks New York State senators' lack of education. A Tammany Hall politician (East Side/NYC machine politics) wins a bet by confidently mistranslating Latin phrase "O tempora! O mores!" as "One God, One Country"—satirizing that political connections, not knowledge, secured legislative positions. **"Lacking"**: Dark wartime satire where a king prioritizes military operations over civilian welfare, resulting in a hollow victory—likely commenting on WWI's human cost. **Remaining items**: Brief humor pieces about marriage disappointments, social pretension (apartment snobbery), and consumer culture ("economy ends at the garage")—typical Judge fare poking fun at contemporary middle-class anxieties and hypocrisies.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“There goes another poor devil launched upon the sea of matri J AAMEEZT. “Yes; and he looks as if he expected to strike a mine any minute.” Senatorial Erudition S$ SOME people may know, education is not the most important qualification for election to the State senate in New York. At one of the sessions of this great body, a member who much given to the deliv- ery of flowery speeches closed an impas sioned oration with ‘‘O tempora! O mores !"* **Bet you don’t know what that means,"* said an up-State member to his neighbor, who was from an East Side district in New York City. “Why, certainly Ido!" retorted the East Sider heatedly. oF got five dollars that says you don’t know,"’ persisted the up-S The East Side member covered the bet at once, and the money was given to another mem ber to hold. “Now! What does it mean?" “**O tempora! O mores!’ *' recited the Tammanyite convincingly, ‘is Eyetalian for ‘One God, One Country. “Darn it, give him the mon up-Stater. hat’s one on me! think he kne fe one. * said the I didn't THE UNEMPLOYED Lacking HE KING ordered all the men to take the field. The chancellor tremblingly approached the throne and whispered some- thing, but his majesty shook his head im patiently. “Let the publicity end be taken the women and children!"* he e “But the women and children,’ the chancellor, ‘will have all they can do to till the soil, operate the factories, keep the bourses open and so forth “Then let the publicity end take care of itself !"* the king insisted stubbornly. The result was about what you might ex pect. The war was fought with valor and brilliancy, but when it passed into history, it did so with almost a total lack of any thing like distinction. A Choice of I A maiden’s pouting I can st (Th » things, doubting); But, ah, of all things in the land, Pray save me from a maiden’s spouting ! there is no are wor The Reason qT! degroom, just now married, Had strangely disappeared; And for the bride the bridesmaid Quite naturally feared. Until the blushing beauty Straight made it understood He was out ascertaining If father’s check was good! —Havold Susman, All Is Vanity Mrs. Gramercy—So you refused to move where your husband decided to Mrs. Park—Why, dear, he picked out the first floor, and nobody would know it was an elevator apartment! Exploded “It's the things we haven't got that make us unhappy."’ remarked the parlor philos- opher. “How about the toothache?" the mere man suggested Economy begins at home and ends at the garage. icbooks.com