Judge, 1915-01-23 · page 19 of 24
Judge — January 23, 1915 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"From a Sinner's Diary"** presents cynical observations on hypocrisy and human weakness—a woman who dumped the narrator, wasteful spouses, and most pointedly, "Old Sister A" who prayed for her companion's husband to die, then was disappointed when reunited with the widow. The satire targets religious self-deception. **"Tea Talk in 1915"** mocks upper-class women's trivial conversation—obsessing over weight ("How can one lose a single pound?"), fashion, gossip, and domestic help while claiming concern for war relief ("Bands for the Belgians"). The repeated refrain about tea cakes satirizes their hypocrisy. **"Reparation"** is a brief joke: a hospital patient learns his bed was endowed by the philanthropist whose car hit him—ironic justice. The advertisements (Black & White Scotch, Shaw's art instruction) occupy the right side. Overall, the page reflects Judge's focus on mocking social pretension and moral inconsistency among the comfortable classes.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
From a Sinner’s Diary PREACHER says the tune isn’t to blame because the devil uses Mi and never to wait for anybody else if you want to get religion. ] know a woman who has dumped me headlong into her stone Whether I bust the machine or come out finely powdered to conepye life's roadway ain't settled yit. Washed outdoors to-day with my mittens on. to wash in the house! ; You know how a balloon will bulge and swell when they're filling That's the way this old house does when the wee one mauls her Murder! I do hate i Some know without having to be told—a knowing that came to them in the crucible. Friend—one before whom you can brag and blow and strut—and they smile understandingly. I know a woman who wants me to spend all I have on clothes to go somewhere, and then I have nothing left to go with. Hence the elab- crate ball gown I am obliged to design. I've had a birthday party. Two Plymouth Rock hens raised one broaze turkey, the honored guest. Her name was Henry, after the man ny pa stole the eggs from. My pa made a wild turkey call out of a wing bone, though wild turkeys have not roamed here since I can re- member, and that is closer to the Jamestown settlement than I like to remember. ‘‘My! that's big for being so little!’’ the wee one said, when given an end of the wishbone to pull on. I know a woman who never laughs, even at anybody. Old Sister A—— for many years had prayed that the ungodly hus- band of Sister B—— might be subtracted, so the two good sisters could live together, their tastes seeming to require exactly the same flavored manna while journeying Canaanward. She bothered the Lord till He finally sent a pestilence and killed off old B——, whereupon the sisters embraced, gave thanks and put their feet in the same oven. But! also! adalas! Neither found on the other the golden crown that the tele- secpe of Faith had pasted so plainly on their heads when looking across the church to the tune of ‘zortations and ‘speriences. Now there is much fidgeting on the anxious seat by Sister A—— to be bereaved of Sister B—. Last night I played for a dance. I wore my aurora-borealis-colored chinchilla, with rattan cuffs, and carried a bouquet of hailstones big as early Alaska peas and some as big as marrowfats. Ludwig has the first piano ever born. There's a good five cords of wood in it. Its voice tinkles like rain on a galvanized porch roof. Lots of fights. Wild as atall game. No worse for the participants than for Europe. Lynette Freemire. Tea Talk in 1915 **Yes, we have taken a house in town." “*T never heard the final score.'’ “Isn't that Jones man a perfect clown?"’ “Walter thinks dancing is such a bore." “Over the war news I simply pore."' “Try this with cheese. It’s my second round."’ “Little tea cakes are what I adore!"" “*How can one lose a single pound?"’ “Jane and Matilda are frights in brown."’ “Who wants to wallow in pages of gore?"’ “*Permanent wave costs you twenty-five down. “She wouldn’t wash up the nursery floor. “*Bands for the Belgians I knitted galore." “Auction is passe this winter, they found.’’ “Little tea cakes are what I adore!"’ “How can one lose a single pound?’ Matron and maid, how their voices soar! Dieters all, but they nibble, I'm bound. ittle tea cakes are what I adore!"’ “*How can one lose a single pound?"’ —Kate B. Burton. Reparation Hospital nursc—This bed you're in was endowed by Mr. Scads, the great philanthropist. Patient—Why, it was his auto that banged me up this way! Cheer Up! . It's only eleven months till Christmas! BLACK & WHITE Scotch Whisky Perhaps you have not tasted “Black and White’ Scotch for some time. Perhaps you are not quite satisfied with what you are drinking. We know the secret of “Black and White’s’’ popu- larity is its quality. May we suggest it will suit you. ALEX D[SHAW/ «co ny You can’t sell your drawings unless they are technically correct and you can only acquire this technique under skil- ful guidance. In comic art particularly, the clever caricature de- pends altogether on a proper understanding of what to emphasize and what to omit, and this knowledge can only be had through instruction. You cannot become a skilled artist without instruction any more than you could be a finished musician and play only by ear. Men are born with genius, but art is the practical and skilful application of natural ability. We send you this instruction by mail and your indi- vidual training comes under the personal direction of Mr. Grant E. Hamilton, an artist of international reputation. This school has been established eleven years and has developed many first-class illustrators who are now earning good incomes from their art. Only a limited number of students will be taken, so write at once. Studio of Pictorial Art, Ine. Established 1903 Fifth New York Avenue, comicbooks.com