Judge, 1915-01-09 · page 8 of 24
Judge — January 9, 1915 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This story satirizes the marital advice given to a young bride by experienced married women at a luncheon. The humor targets early 20th-century women's prescribed roles: the married women counsel deception and deliberate incompetence as strategies for domestic happiness. The advice is deliberately cynical: hide spending habits, cultivate mystery, cook badly so husbands remain grateful, imitate the Sphinx's silence, and practice "duplicity." The satire works by having the women earnestly present these dishonest tactics as wisdom—revealing how limited women's actual options and agency were in marriage. The top cartoon's joke about "counts and dukes" appears to reference wartime Europe (World War I context likely), suggesting women's concern that war might eliminate aristocratic marriage prospects. The satire's target is unclear: it could mock either the married women's cynicism or critique a society that forces women toward such strategies.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
't the war in Europe terrible? -Yes. What will we do for counts and dukes? Second gi THE B RID E’S CONVERSION Bu HELEN ‘ SPAFFORD AN AIR of intense satisfaction pervaded the luncheon table. she heard said in a languid tone; ‘‘an amiable duplicity in the Every woman present was married and wore a beautiful smaller affairs which confront all married people.’’ gown and a lovely hat. **Exactly,"’ agreed the hostess. ‘‘In the matter of money, Some of these women had been married as long never tell how you spend it. If you buy a hat, as six or seven years, and the one bride thought wear it as if it grew on your head. If the effect with a sweet humility of the wisdom and domestic is pleasing, your husband’s artistic pleasure should lore that must be their portion. not be marred by the sordid element of price.’’ The women nibbled salted almonds and held ‘In the matter of your conduct,’’ said a soft- animated conversations. The bride watched their 4 voiced, blue-eyed lady, ‘‘imitate the oyster. The joyous faces and yearned to know the secret of = Sphinx has been held before us for generations as their felicity. \ a model of silence for our sex. It is a poor rule Then one that was near by struck the opening which is not flexible.’ bar to the symphony ‘‘Husbands and Money,’ and The bride heard them in amazement. Before it aroused an instant attention. her lay the fish course, a quiet reminder of a knowl- The bride grew radiant. From this tune of edge she hoped soon to acquire. marital music she would learn the harmony of **How is this fish cooked?"’ she inquired timidly patience, gratitude and explanations. She heark- of her neighbor. ened reverently. » ‘Leave it a mystery, and you will be happier,” “Take my advice and never accept a money the neighbor answered. allowance from your husband. Leave it an open A dark-eyed woman addressed the bride. question,’’ said a fluffy young married person across the table. ‘‘Never cook or say you can cook, or you will cook end- “*No allowance has an added value when coupled in its source lessly, your cooking accepted as something in which you with a faulty memory,’ spoke a demure and pretty woman. The delight and would be miserable at ceasing.’’ bride heard a chorus of voices “In cooking fora hus- applauding this cryptic sen- band,’’ pursued the languid timent. lady, **excellence breeds dis- “*If a husband does not re- content.’ “That is right,’ an- nounced the hostess. ‘I find the masculine appetite most difficult when pam- pered. A little poor cook- ing is the leaven of appre- ciation."’ The bride's mind whirled in a maze of doubt, as she saw a woman stamped with the joy of living lean forward in affirmation. “Do as little as you can, and do it badly. Then will another be found to do it better,’’ she contributed. Beaming eyes and lovely, exultant faces testified to this assertion, and from the end of the table the one member what money he gives his wife, it is worth three allowances properly man- aged,’’ continued the first- speaking lady. **This plan requiresskill,’’ said another, with serene and quiet confidence. ‘‘But in this, asin all good games, skill makes the tricks count high."” The bride grew wondering. She saw that all listened with delight, and none showed signs of a horrified protest. Her startled glance rested on the next speaker. “The secret of happiness in married life is duplicity,’’ “PAINT HEART NE'ER WON PAIR LADY"’