Judge — January 2, 1915 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Teh a. RAGE o 3 Sti St ri! A Discouraged Fogy By STRICKLAND GILLILAN mong the wise who said, ‘‘It I bin be dove,’ when first they talked Of ‘‘horseless carriages,” when young Invention’s lusty spirit walked ‘Athwart the landscape. Yet when came the first crude thing that moved about At driver's will, I said, ““I own they’ve got so far, beyond a doubt; | But that’s as far’s they'll ever get. This thing is marvelous enough.’”” Iwas a fogy to the core and handed out the pooh-pooh stuff. Since then they’ve introduced a heap of | other things I knew they'd not: Poeumatic tires, the one-man top, the jiffy curtains and a Jot Of other things—the shifting gears, the various speeds, center control, Self-ciling stunts, the petrol gauge, elec- tric horn, magneto—whole Hage revolutions have been brought into the game. The power pump, Self-starting buttons, priming plugs, stream-line, ignition sparks that jump, The muffler cut-out, spark control that’s automatic, quick-off rim, Electric headlights that you make to blaze or glimmer at your whim, Safe brakes, transmissions wonderful, the commutator, fenders crowned, The non-skid tire that in the wet will keep its hold upon the ground, Skid chains, elliptic springs, robe rail, tire carriers, foot feed and all— Speedometer, clear-vision shield, the shock absorber—who can call The next improvement they may make? I’ve changed my tune, and now I say, “Farewell to fogyism—aye, farewell for- ever and a day! The word ‘impossible’ I’ve crossed from out my dictionary’s pages. You cannot make me say, ‘They can’t do’ anything, in coming ages.”” I look upon the latest car, with all its wilderness of wonders— Improving things that once were crude, correcting hosts of former blunders. I'd think it perfect, had I not observed that every year improved them— Not merely changed the cars themselves, but e’en the power plant that moved them. So, fogies, here is where I break my long entente and declare Myself allied with those who know there is no limit anywhere. Wouldn't Scare Him “Why didn’t you toot your horn if you saw the man in the road ahead?”’ “I figured,’’ replied the chauffeur, “that it would be more merciful if he never knew what struck him.” Penny Wise Rankin—One of Beanbrough’s relations wanted to give him an automobile, and he wouldn’t accept it. Phyle—I wonder why. _Rankin—Just because, when he built his new house, he spent twenty-five dol- lars for a hitching post in front of it. thful. Sample of bitters by mail, » CV, Abbott & Co., Baltimore, Md. (apv.) EGY DEITIES, ,/ Plain End or Cork Tip “@_ ROMEIKE’S PRESS CUTTING BURE about you, your friends, or any subject on which you may want to be “‘up to date.’? Every | newspaper and periodical of importance in the United States and Europe is searched. Terms, HENRY ROMEIKE, 106-110 Seventh Avenue, New York EEE N Wa MMM Ca 0 for 100 notic will send you all newspaper clippings which may ap MMT Wd FROM THE PRESS! The Greatest Book of Useful Information Ever Printed THE WORLD ALMANAC np ENCYCLOPEDIA For 1915 Edition 200,000 1,000 CROWDED PAGES Over 25,000 Facts and Figures About Nearly Everything Under the Sun, Handily Classified for Ready Reference AT (West of Buffalo and Pittsburg, 30c); Mail, 35c; Cloth Bound, 50c; by NEWSSTANDS 2 5c Mail, 60c. , formation, boiled dawn into, one compact volume that no home, 7 edie has teen popularly known as “the book ta as weights, measures, politica, A whole Library of valuab effice, school, library, read Por many years ‘The W z Chat settles all argum ty 00 exporta, imports, tami tio, armies, Davies, sporting events, populations, areas, etc., ete, D, emigr Some of the Many New Features Added This Year Review of the War in Europe: Wars of the World; Political State Platforms of 1914; Special or Emergency Tax; Prison Population; Factory Statistics; Work- men’s Compensation Laws; Occupations in United States; Federal Reserve Act; Federal Trade Commission; Statistics of Foreian Born Population in United States; Mexican Situation Described; Chinese Republic; Palisades Driveway: The Aeroplane and Aviation Generally in War. GET OR WRITE FOR COPY TO-DAY! Address: The New York World, Publishers, Pulitzer Bldg., New York City, N. Y. euch subjec AU MU Ya pear ZS Wa Md WW comicbooks.com