Judge, 1915-01-02 · page 17 of 24
Judge — January 2, 1915 — page 17: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct elements: **Poetry & Comic Sketches (Left):** Light verses about maintaining optimism, followed by two humorous dialogues satirizing working-class British attitudes toward World War I. "The Reality of War" mocks a poor, unemployed man ("never been known to work") who enlists and receives a government stipend—his wife hopes the war continues forever because the financial support improves her life. "The Conqueror's Return" ridicules a lazy husband who finally leaves bed to enlist; his wife weeps not because he's wounded, but because he's returning home, depriving her of his absence. **Bell System Advertisement (Right):** The bulk of the page is corporate propaganda for AT&T, emphasizing the Bell System's scale (8.5 million telephones, 150,000 employees) and organizational efficiency. Period photographs show telephone infrastructure and workers. **Bottom Advertisement:** Unrelated book promotion. The page exemplifies Judge's typical mix: sentimental patriotic verse, working-class comedy exploiting wartime economic desperation, and substantial paid advertising.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
1915 Believe in ghosts, and you will see a few; * Embrace a sorrow, and it quickly grows. Suspect that fortune’s tinge will be dark blue, oe Then you'll believe it, though it brightly glows. Without 8 smile, you’re soon without a friend. | | Ja meeting care, & laugh will give you heart! Should you go down, be merry to the end; He wins who, jesting, plays the loser’s, art ! : Enduw the world with gold—it soon for- ets; - snile on it, and your passing calls re- grets. Forego, this coming year, the mournful glance! . Renew your youth; it’s easy when you i Obtain a smile from every circumstance; Moreover, cheer the glooms, as you go by! Jest while you live! aim and end! Unlike the studied moralists who frown, Denuding life of joy, it’s greatest friend, Grace you the lot and portion of the Make smiles the clown! Enough of tears! Joy's up and sorrow's down! harles Elkin, Jr. The Reality of War Mr. McGovern, a heavyweight gentle- man of London's East End, who had never been known to work, but who neverthe- less has added to the population of the earth in figures up to ten, suddenly be- came heroic and enlisted. The following dialogue took place between Mrs. Mc- Govern and a lady, Mrs. McGovern being happy and complacent in the receipt of her 27/6 from the War Office: Mrs, McGovern--Good-morning, miss. Lady—Good-morning, Mrs. McGovern. Thear Mr. McGovern has gone to the war. Mrs. McGovern (cheerfully) — Yes, miss. Lady—Well, Mrs, McGovern, what do you think of this terrible war? Mrs. MeGovern—Good God, lady! I hope it will last forever! The Conqueror’s Return Mr. Mouatt, born tired, also father of a large family, had spent most of his married life in bed, while Mrs. Mouatt worked in the glass factory just to keep things moving. One morning Mr. Mouatt became impregnated with the large idea of getting out of bed at last and offering bis services to his country. On calling at Mrs. Mouatt’s one day last week, a lady found her in tears. “Why, Mrs. Mouatt, what is the mat- ter?’ Has your husband been wounded?”" “No, miss." (Loud sniffles. ) “w M, dear me! I hope he has not " “Oh, it’s worse than that, miss! coming ‘ome!"” ‘E's D; el eee ose amas: Imagine a manufacturing business having millions of customers scattered over the country, with millions of ac- counts on its books, most of them less than $30 a year, and including a multitude of 5-cent charges. Consider it as having shops and offices in thousands of cities, and reaching with its output 70,000 places, more than there are post offices in the United States. Think of the task of patroling 16,000,000 miles of connect- ing highways constantly in use. This gives you a faint idea of the business of managing the Bell System. Not all the 8,500,000 telephones are in use at once, but the manage- ment must have facilities always ad- equate to any demands for instant, direct communication. Managing the Business of 8,500,000 Telephones In so vast an undertaking, every branch of the organization must work in harmony, guided by one policy. The entire plant must be managed in the light 5 accumulated experience, and with the most careful business judgment. The aim of the Bell System is to make the telephone of the utmost use- fulness. This requires an army of loyal men and women, inspired by a leadership having a high sense of its obligations to the public. Animated by the spirit of service, and unhampered -by red tape, the 150,000 Bell employes have the cour- age to do the right thing at the right time upon their own initiative. They work together intelligently as a busi- ness democracy to give the public good service. AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH COMPANY AND ASSOCIATED COMPANIES One Policy One System Universal Service of the wit and volume of de hours of enjoy the long winter ev Price $1.50 Bound Volumes of Judge Here is a leather binder which will hold any number of Judges from one copy to fifty-two. - of the times and you wi tful humor that will afford many ment to ‘ou and your children during Leslie-Judge Co., 225 Fifth Ave., New York comicbooks.com